It was not MSW or NT that made this place for me, but the people in it.

There are so many of you, to numorous to count, that have brought me many joys, laughter, and tears. Many have been there for me when I needed a place to vent or share an experience. Many of you paid attention to me and gave me your support. I hope in some way, I've helped you too....I always tried to be there as a support for you as well.

I'd like to start out by saying that every thing I told you about my health condition was true. I felt and have lived through all that I reported. It is a very scary thing to go through, and not have answers.

As I read about all of you and what you go through, I could relate, as I have gone through it as well. The difference is, I don't have MS.

My LP came out normal. It is a relief beyond words. I do have the lesions on my brain, but they apparently are not reflective of MS. My VEP's were normal. This leaves me and my Neuro with one answer. That what I experienced is not MS.

But what is it? He explained I could do some Nerve Conduction studies but that even with a postitive there, He has no way to treat the sx really.

Now you'd think I would be feeling upset or mad that I didn't get what I searched for... a dx. But I'm not...I got better...I got no dx.

What I think is that some how, some way.....the stress I experienced with my last employer is at the heart of what happened. (This does not answer the past things over the years....but I can live with that too). Even though I'd stopped working weeks before the numbess started...I'm just going to have to accept that I worked myself into a stress induced MS Mimic.

So in conclusion; If it ain't MS, then it must be Psycological. Funny how our bodies work. I know we beat the drum here that "It's not in my head"....but I'm afraid that, at least for me, it must have been. I hope others will consider my statements who maybe refuse to believe this therory, and my hope is that many of you will reply to me and thank me for recognizing this as a possiblity, and congratulate me on following thru on all my testing to put this to rest once and for all.

I realized on my drive home that I love so many people here, but I don't belong. Despite the friendships I have waged here, it would be silly to hang on to these friendships when what I need to do is move on about life, resolve these issues that elude me, and find stability and good health.

So with these final words, I will be leaving this board...but that does not mean I'm leaving this site. I still have the back issues and apparently some depression and anxiety issues I need to start dealing with. I may stop in from time to time to check on all of you and hope you will remember me.

I guess thats all any of us want sometimes...is to be acknowledged and have a place to feel safe. You did that for me and I thank you from the bottom of my

I'm saddened that most of you have MS. You are wonderful people and its unfair that you got this DX. I've learned so much from all of you about what the disabled go thru...and that even if you look fine...many of you are not. You deserve good things and you deserve to have this safe place to share what you go thru.

With tears, I bid you all a farewell and a big thanks for all you do for this community. I will watch this thread for what I hope are many good wishes and goodbyes....And if I ever see you again....It's because I care about YOU!!

Peace and love be with you all!

GJ

I truly wish you well. You've said some very difficult things in your post and you've come a long way and grown a lot! For many, the most difficult part of the process is the not knowing.

Treating symptoms is what happens to a lot of people. I hope you do find peace and feel better soon.

Yes, there are other forums here and I hope you find the help, support, and friendship that you have found here. Do stop by and say hello!

Take care of yourself! I wish you all the best!

Oh goodness, You're post made me cry. I wish I knew what to say. You are so very brave and I wish you peace of mind and good health. Gosh I hate it when words fail me. I was very touched and extremely moved by what you wrote.
While I'm glad to hear that you don't have MS and your tests came out with a good result, I am sorry that didn't have concrete answers for you. I
feel that is the toughest part.
Please drop by and say hi or to give us all a good teasing. Take Care honey.

hey hey GJ... you don't ever feel that you have to apologize!! congrats that it's not MS - .. AND BOY DO YOU LOOK GOOD!!

you're still part of my family here - and I have some things coming your way .. in fact, as soon as I get outta this storm dilemma .. YOU have a postcard coming!!

and, altho I have MS (proven twice now with MRIs) I still have a brain that operates pretty good - it's just my body that has a mind of it's own!

about the stress - I totally agree ... part of mine is MS, but my job brought alot of it on - and even when I 'think' about what I use to do .. my body goes 'in-flames' .. literally! and I'm an emotional basketcase!

for me it's 'how do I explain that on paper??' and why can't I go to work? other people with MS do? my problem is - I don't last long .. getting ready is good, but by the time I get to the car - I'm wiped!

hang in here with us - PLEASE!! because as soon as I get my act or find the show I'm suppose to be in .. I have a friend in Alaska that I'm coming up to viz (and may find a place to stay then!)

I'm glad to say "I'm glad to know ya!"

~~~waves with happy tears~~~

Vonn,
You got my address...you let me know when you are on your way to Alaska....The summer of 2008 looks good to me!!! The Eagles are waiting for you!!!

(kicks floor) thanks for the compliment (all of you)

Vonn, You take care of yourself! You have a heart of gold and will soon be paid back in spades!

Best of luck in whatever life brings you.

That's a lot to think about, and a lot to say.

I'm really proud of you and happy for you. Your head is in a good place, it seems. Know you have my support 100%.


Plus, you get a big ol' bon voyage party.



The awesome thing is, your life can resume free of the limbo baggage, yet you don't have to give up your NT membership - best of both worlds.

The only other thing I can say is that spinal disorders are just like anything neuro; they too can present some pretty peculiar sx that doctors are not going to acknowledge as being possible.

And that said, on with the party! Open up the bar, and munchies are on me!

Oh Greenjeans, I go to pick up my kids from school and come back to see your leaving the board. I do understand completely. Best of luck to you. Thank you for being here for me when I needed it.

Peace and Love right back at ya Greenjeans.

Hey, girl! It's been fun having you around. I understand your wanting to move on though.

Glad you don't have MS. Here's hoping you can figure out what really is going on and address it.

C'Ya around GJ! XOXOXOXO