[leebeemi]

I'm newly registered, but have been lurking for a week or so. You all pretty much rock, with your supportiveness & collective wisdom and all. So, I could use some!

I'm 43 years old, female, and suffered from depression (treated w/ Lexapro, which works great for me) before my concussion.

On Jan 3, 2012, I had (what I thought was) a minor bump to my noggin. I was getting in my car, bent down to pick something up, and hit my head on the edge of the car door. I saw stars, it hurt, but I soon felt okay, and drove on to work.

Within the hour, I knew something was wrong, called my doctor, and they said to hightail it to the ER. I thought I was really okay, so went out to drive myself (d'uh). On the way out the door, I realized I was seeing double (triple?) and VERY dizzy. Called my husband, and he came to get me.

Within 1/2 an hour of being admitted to the ER, I was being wheeled down to get my head CT scan, when the nurse said, "What is this?" and plucked a piece of red paint from my hair. Yes, I had hit the car door so hard, I chipped the paint. But no open wound, no major swelling.

CT was fine, no bleeders or internal swelling. Exam revealed wackadoo pupils (still seeing double) and I was very nauseated. Doc sent me home w/ the instructions to rest up, take Tylenol as needed, and a prescription for anti-nausea if I needed it.

Two days later, I returned to work, still had a headache & a little dizzyness. Turned on my computer, and I just about threw up it made me so dizzy. Found I could read on screen for about 5 mins at a time. Followed up w/ my doc, he hadn't received the scans from the ER yet, but said they should be there soon. Said to work only as long as I felt up to it. So, I went home.

I tood it easy for about a week, still working but slowly; started feeling good, then returned to normal activity. Big mistake. By the beginning of my third week post-concussion, I felt just as horrible as I did at the beginning, but in different ways.

For me, the headache is my least bothersome symptom. I am a migraine sufferer, and my current headache is a constant dull ache, but not bad. It is treatable w/ over-the-counter meds, ibuprofen being the most effective. My worst symptoms are irratibility, brain fog, and a feeling of being observational in my life, rather than participating in it. And, already a depression sufferer, my depression has worsened & anxiety is a new twist.

My doctor is very good. Assures me I need rest and time. Assures me this is all real, and offered to counsel my husband to that end. (Husband himself is very supportive.) I have been prescribed 10mg Elavil to take at night, and am hopeful this will work with my current meds to ease the anxiety & accelerated depression. Dr following-up regularly with me.

I know I am early into this condition, and have no reason to doubt my prognosis is anything but good. However--I am so fearful that this is my new reality. I cannot function in my job. I have a relatively high-stress "thinky" job. I need to be quick on my feet and ready with a new idea on the spot.

My boss is currently being understanding, but when I told her my doctor put my recovery at the inside to be about 3 months, she about fell over. My injury was NOT work related. But I currently can either do an okay job at work or in my real life--not both. I have two young children (7 & 11), and a compulsive worker husband (60+ hours a week).

I am having trouble putting it all in perspective. I had a hard enough time trying to keep all the balls in the air before! How do I even keep half in the air now?

I'm in a position at work where my job can't go undone--if I'm out for an extended period, they will relocate me to another position and fill my current one. How do I learn to be okay with that? We need my income, so just chucking it is not an option. But I am daily reminded that I cannot do this right now. Any words of wisdom?

[Mark in Idaho]

leebeemi,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. Sorry you got car paint in your hair. Sounds like quite a impact.

Yes, you are right. Everything sounds like normal PCS. To add to the PCS is your depression. I suggest that your depression was due to the stresses of your 'think on your feet' job. Research suggests that multi-tasking is detrimental to brain health. Sounds like you have needed to multi-task at both ends of the candle, work and home.

My 'shoot from the hip' suggestion is simple. You and your husband need to sit down and have a serious discussion about work and household stress. Your PCS brain will forever be more sensitive to stressors.

Watch the 'You Look Great" video series by John Byler on YouTube. Download the TBI Survival Guide at www.tbiguide.com . Get informed about your symptoms and other needs.

You will be surprised how much your kids can help you around the house. Lowering noise and other chaos will be a big help. Making eye contact during conversations will also help. Sitting quietly with mom as she tries to help with homework can change the dynamic s at home. Loading the dishwasher quietly so mom can rest will also help. The bending over to the dishwasher will likely be problematic for quite some time.

My wife had started the kids at doing their own laundry at these ages. Anything they can do will help. Kids are amazing when they get a chance to act more grown-up.

The low dose Elavil sounds like your doctor has good information.

Have you tried wearing dark glasses? They can help with the light sensitivity. Ear plugs too. Your brain needs to be protected from visual and auditory stimuli. Soft comfortable clothes will also help. The tactile sensation of an itchy label or errant synthetic thread can be that straw that broke the camel's back. A quieter place to work with new quieter behaviors by those you work with should be a big help. Just remember that high stress will be a struggle for the near and maybe distant future.

Statistically, ( I hate PCS statistics) the longer your PCS symptoms persist, the greater the chance of a long recovery. Duhhhh.

This event may be the wake-up call you need to slow down your and your family's life. The brain does not take to stress well. Many have learned a new appreciation for a simpler life when struck by Persistent PCS.

I wish I had better news but it is better to plan for the worse and hope for the best. The brain needs the rest.

btw, You may benefit from a serious hormone analysis. Hormones can get a serious bump from a concussion, especially at your age. Your prior depression suggests that you may need some hormonal 'tweeking.' Check out https://www.womensinternational.com/..._referral.html for a referral to a good specialist in your area. You may be surprised at the improvement you get with a bio-identical hormone supplementation regimen. Also, get your nutrition and supplementation regimen going. Plenty of threads with nutrition info. Post your questions if you can't find them.

My best to you.

[leebeemi]

Thanks, Mark. You have, of course, told me what I should already know & be prepared to deal with. I guess a little part of me wants someone to say, "Nah, it'll be fine!"

I appreciate your thoughts. And you're correct, I do need to put more responsibility on my kids. They are up to it. I have to say I am blessed with relatively quiet, respectful children, who would do anything I asked to make me more comfortable. So far, they are good about when I need quiet rest time, which has helped a great deal.

I hadn't thought about dark glasses! That's a great idea. I can't do earplugs right now, because I do have mild tinnitus, and it drives me crazy when it's ALL I can hear. I do have a "sleep sound" app for my iPad & have been using that, which is great. I've suffered from insomnia most of my life, so sleep is a troubling issue. Right now, it's okay--the Elavil seems to make me drowsy. And then there are the dreams--oy! Intense & strange.

I'm having a million "aha" moments from what you've said! This is a treasure-trove of information for me. I wore a wool sweater that has NEVER bothered me before & it drove me out of my mind, but I didn't think about why. Now I need to start linking that all together.

My doctor has suggestion slowing down on trying anything "new." I was signed up for beginning tai chi, and he suggested not to. I am cleared to continue gentle yoga, but to discontinue if it becomes uncomfortable. Is this fairly common?

It seems that so many things I've done in the past to relax are unavailable to me. I can't knit or sew, as I can't comprehend a pattern at this point. TV watching is limited to about 30 mins before I get motion sickness. And certainly no foreign films--cannot do subtitles! Reading feels okay for about an hour--I use my iPad and can increase the size of the print & keep the light/contrast low.

Thanks again for this response!

[Eowyn]

Oh, your story sounds so much like my life about a year ago!!

I was a high school English teacher -- multitasking all the time and doing zillion things at work and at home. I also had mild depression pre-concussion that got much worse after.

I tried to go back to work after resting for a week. I set myself back and had to take off the entire second semester.

I went back to work part time in a one-to-one setting this fall but just recently my employer and I decided that even that was too much and so I have been medically terminated. It was very very hard to let my job (and health insurance) go. It was a major part of keeping our family afloat financially, so now we are in the midst of many adjustments, some of which include applying for food and energy assistance from the state.

I totally relate to not being able to do any "normal" relaxing things, too. I love to read and had a whole pile of books waiting for time to read. I got injured and had all the time in the world, but still couldn't read them. Also couldn't watch TV or crochet or play Scrabble or virtually anything I had been used to doing.

On my SuperBetter blog, you can find the list of things I eventually found that helped keep me occupied without hurting me: http://eowynridesagain.wordpress.com/game-basics/

(Incidentally, SuperBetter is in clinical trials now at http://www.superbetter.com if you want to give it a shot)

Even after I was injured, I kept trying to stay involved at work by sending in lesson plans, checking work email, etc. I was still trying to do my regular duties at home like taking care of finances. After a couple of months, it became apparent that this was NOT working. I basically had to ask my boss and my husband to think about how they would handle things if I were DEAD and do that. I could give very minor verbal assistance but not much more. This is what finally helped me truly start to get "brain rest" along with my physical rest.

Dietary supplements have helped quite a bit, too. I take:
- Algal DHA (900 mg)
- Acetyl-l-carnitine (500 mg)
- B-complex 100
- Vitamin D3 (2000 IU)

Mark may have some additional suggestions on this front.

Most importantly, at the stage you're at, I think is to take things one day (or even one moment at a time), listening to your body and asking everyone around you to help you do the very best you can to keep it happy. That will help your recovery happen as fast as possible.

Good luck. Stay in touch here. It has been an amazing source of support for me.

[Mark in Idaho]

You may want to try some different types of reading. I lost my ability to read fiction or articles with overly descriptive writing styles. Some of my men's magazines (Popular Mechanics and such) have changed the writing styles to try to appeal more to women. I could no longer read many of the articles.

Even Readers' Digest changed their editing styles. So, my reading has dropped off markedly.

If you can limit the amount of text visible at once, you may be more tolerant of reading. At the first sign of fatigue, stop and rest. Fatigue will manifest as needing to reread a sentence to understand it or just getting lost on the page.

At one point, I determined that on my bad days, I was limited to about 200 words before fatigue. Good days, i could read 800 word.

Now, I have developed reading skills that help me reduce the overload. I have ad blocking on my browser so I do not get bombarded with text wrapped around ads.

I have tinnitus too. It can get very loud. Mine is just above the key of C#6 on a piano. Once I used the ear plugs more, I got so I can ignore the tinnitus. I prefer the tinnitus to my wife's snoring and other auditory chaos.

Have you ever been tested for sleep apnea? Insomnia where one keeps waking up during the night can be a sign of sleep apnea. The intense dreams can indicate poor oxygenation of the brain. Ask your husband if he can observe you sleeping sometime.

Is your TV a Hi Def (HD) flat screen? The intensity of highly focused imagery can be difficult for a struggling brain. The softer focus of standard definition is easier for the visual processing. The HD TV sales people try to sell as large a screen as the normal eye can view. If I remember correctly, they suggest a 60 degree wide viewing angle which means that if you put your hands at the sides of your eyes, the screen will almost fill the view. That can be too much visual information for a struggling brain.

Surround sound adds to this overload of stimuli. I need to use head phones to listen to the TV because of the overload of ambient sounds and echos. And, we do not have high def or surround sound.

Just remember, you want to stop an activity before is causes fatigue/overload symptoms, otherwise, you are not giving your bran a chance to heal.

My best to you.

[EsthersDoll]

Welcome! Although, I'm sorry you find yourself in such a challenging place that you need to be here.

I think you really need to consider that taking care of yourself now and accepting that you might have another position at work after doing so is better than making yourself worse. If you did end up losing the position you have now, you can always get it back in the future after maybe having to take a different position after you get back to work.

There are a lot of "ifs" here. Try not to buy trouble for more than it's worth! And try not to worry about milk that hasn't spilled yet.

Maybe your employer will end up filling your position with a temp and you get your position back when you can come back. Or maybe the person they transfer into it will have to leave suddenly and coincidently once you're ready to come back due to her (or his) mother being ill and having to move, having a baby, getting a different job, or they realize that only you can do your job the best, or some other reason.

Try to rest. It will help you get better faster so you can return ASAP!

Most likely, you'll be able to learn tai chi, watch foreign films or do whatever you want again someday. I wasn't able to work or drive at all for a year after the accident I was in but now I'm working 20 hours a week and driving myself to and from! It just takes time. (By the by, I too really miss watching foreign films but I'm hopeful I will again.)

The faster you can accept that you have impairments, albeit temporary ones, then the faster you can slow down, rest and recover from them.

But right now, you have to put some rest in the recovery bank so you can make a withdrawal of all better!