... and in general, feeling "I'm back", and that I "have my life back" ... Alleluia. Wow. It's so good to be back to feeling again like myself again

I continue to be doing very well with the Aricept (donzepil) over these 2 months now. My cognitive functioning is so improved; cognitive executive functioning is *majorly* improved.

I continue meditation 2 x daily, yoga stretches, meet w/ a group meditation weekly -- which helps greatly with the practice. I use lavender epsom salts in my daily bath, 1-2 x daily, which is both relaxing for me (cheap on sale @ Walgreens) plus helps with the physical aches&pains. (It's still 'hot' Down Here on the Gulf Coast, so 'sweaty' still happens when out-&-about during the day, thus I often bathe before bedtime again, to relax & refresh. )

I'm 4yrs out from the rear-ended MVC which majorly altered my life 2008. [ Note: I had one 'good year' (2011) in these post-injured 4 years.] I didn't know it at the time ... I 'overdid' it last year 2011 when I was doing well --- in the effort to do whatever I could do/was newly-again-capable-to-do . I truly thought that I was 'resting' appropriately to 'balance' the increased activity, the 'busyness' of requirements of ordinary everyday life & 'have a life' again, Alleuia.

Yet nonetheless proved 'too much' for me it seems now in retrospect; I could not sustain it. Jan. 2012 I was rendered 'dysfunctional' yet again. "Stop. Do not cross 'Go' !!" --- for 9 months. 9 months of 'quiet rest', social isolation, no activity outdoors ... because I was incapable of anything more. (No fun, for certain.) While I may perhaps be 'fortunate' that I live alone, it was 'no picnic' living with only my own mind, as I've posted previously on here. ) Thus the move to more intensive meditation, to increase my capability to cope/ to deal with 'it all', as life now is.

So I'm walking lil doggies, housesitting-petsitting, & a little personal chef cookery for elders each week. (Thai & Indonesian is my specialty; & I'll cook anything ... now that "Theta CAN cook" again, yes!)

My 'enduring lamaise' is a daily count-on-it severe fatigue --- w/or w/o any activity or exertion --- can come over me by 9-10 am morning/before noon, and especially by 1pm. It's like "I just cannot keep my eyes open another second", "I've just gotta-lie-down-&-nap/sleep" --- yet no way if I attempt to do so am I actually able to 'nap'. I was helped last year by rx'd Provigil/Nuvigil (modafinil) --- but that doesn't feel in order for now. So, I muddle on through my days, glad to be as well as I am.

"The Challenge" remains of course to be always mindful of my capacities of the moment, the day, & 'to do' what it is that I set-out to do, i.e. meet my commitments in such a way that I do not over-exhaust my self and 'blow it' & my by-now 'admitted limitations'. I am in no way capable or competent to be doing what&how I was prior to MVC 4 yrs ago. I'm older than most posting on here; and as Mark has said, we of the over-age-40+ generation do not as 'readily' heal of brain injury to bounce-back-to-our-former-selves as the younger-aged-injured. Nonetheless, do not give up. You, like I, can & will be 'better' again. (And mind ya: I've *not* been all-patient-peaceful-faithful-enduring-hopeful all along the way --- no way! )

Just my update to present here, NT friends.

Best of wellbeing to all here,

Theta

Hi Theta,

Thanks for sharing your journey. I have been enjoying reading your posts. You have had so much to deal with and I'm thrilled for you that life is getting better and better. It sounds like you have worked hard and have had a determination to find the gifts in all of this

Your posts have particularly spoken to me (and informed me!) as I just went to a mindfulness class last week, based on Jon Kabat-Zinn's MBSM. I think there is a message in this for me

I come here as a caretaker (mom) of an adolescent with PCS.

All the best,

pretdou

Theta, Glad you are back on the road to recovery and are happy.

Reading between the lines of your post, you seem to have a well sorted routine with daily and weekly activities, with points during the day to nap - I guess the ordered plan has helped as well ?

Hello, pretdou,

I thank you for your acknowledgment here. And I am so glad that you have connected with Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction there in your Canada location. As you are a mom, of a high-achieving young teenaged daughter suffering 'a crash' relapse of PCS, it is clear in your postings that you already bring a 'centered' approach to your family & your daughter's best options to 'work with what simply is, now'. As you said, any "futuristic thinking" can be so troublesome.

I've been following your posts as well. Sounds like you and Mark are well on the track of best options for your daughter's recovery. Your own unselfcentered compassion shines through all, pretdou. Clearly your daughter is in your good care management and guidance. I hope that she may soon come to accumulate better days in a row, to grow better and better.

Best to you & your daughter,
Theta

Thank you sospan for your acknowledgment here. I thank you also for giving me cause to joyfully laugh aloud at myself this morning upon reading your post ... . Laugh because my days presently seem to me --- while not chaotic, frenzied, nor all-over-the-place --- yet in no way a well-ordered plan or routine. A weekly itinerary doesn't work for me personally, as I 'simply am, now' at this stage/age/capability in my life. I can't make my capacities to fit-a-template as it were. I'm still learning to 'go with the flow', and the inevitable ebbing. "Rest when needed", or even better "before needed", seems to be still key for me.

The 'balancing act' daily seems likened to a seesaw.

Theta,

Thank you for your lovely words of kindness and encouragement. The self-pity can definitely rear it's ugly head at times!

There is such a huge, huge learning curve to all of this and we resist a lot of what we need to learn, eh? Yes," being with what simply is, in the moment".

Reading about your "crash" after a year of doing better definitely turned a light on for me. This is a marathon, a life-long marathon for my daughter with her history.

Yes MBSR is cropping up everywhere in my life these days. I am SO greatful to learn about your practice. It has been really inspiring. I was "sitting" most days last winter, doing something similar to MBSR, but got "unseated" when my daughter had PCS

And the details of how you have organized your schedule and rest as mentioned in the post above are fantastic. It is so confusing to sort out what is happening and so many of us must do it on our own. This site, with folks like you sharing what they have learned, has been the best resource I have had by far and away!

I will post again as we move along. Again thank you for the lovely words. I love your courage

Well, I wrote the part about details of schedule and rest before your response so it's sort of funny how that all looks!

But what you have to say about how it all actually does work for you is actually very helpful!

Can anyone explain the to me the difference between MBSR and apathy?

MBSR sounds like it is the opposite of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

Just curious since Jon Kabat-Zinn defines it as a moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness. People of many religious convictions are taught to take every thought captive.

I have gone through periods of apathy and did not find them beneficial.

Am I missing something?

If you dont have something supportive or thoughtful to say when someone has found a therapy they enjoy and find helpful....then maybe you should take your thoughts and keep them captive.

I am asking a valid question. MBSR is not defined any further than my simple impression as explained in my question. Is there an added dimension beyond the web site explanation? Do you need to take the course to understand the difference.

CBT is taking the thought and redirecting it to a positive thought. MBSR talks of taking the thought and doing nothing with it. PTSD results from stressful thoughts that have no system of release. In my experience, denying the meaning of a thought may allow temporary stress reduction but the long term affects of such a behavior has ended up being stressful as the issue is allowed to continue to build without reaction.

btw, "Jon Kabat-Zinn has said that his program is not spiritually based, and is therefore open to everyone no matter what life circumstances they are in. "
Maybe he is just unaware of the spiritual implications of his protocol. But, that is not my question here.

There appears to be a missing dimension somewhere.

Or, is the difference something that is tied to right brain vs left brain thought processes. Although right brain/left brain issues are not discussed, there appears to be some research data that might indicate a tipping toward benefiting the right brained mind.