Hey, figured I'd share an update on my recovery and maybe spread some hope

So far I've not seen a neurologist yet although it's scheduled (October 8th) and a follow up with my regular doctor (October 2nd) I've started therapy this week (session was just more so about background information and things like that) and went a saw a chiropractor today, he said my hips were off an inch and my back was out along with an intense amount of swelling/tightness and he said my neck was about 3/4 of an inch off and twisted/tilted

I've been prescribed Lorazepam for anxiety, and having started taking vitamins (B12, B50 complex, C, E and Fish, Flax & Borage Oil includes omega 3,6,9) and taking Melatonin and Benadryl at night

I've been trying to limit screen time and overdoing with physical activity, past two nights I've gotten 9+ Hours of sleep and the past two days have been relatively good caught myself almost being back to my old self yesterday

The bad thoughts are not there as much and I'm doing a better job of being able to redirect them to something else, so I'm pretty happy on that

I'm still having headaches all day but I've learned to live with that, nausea comes and goes it's almost more like a gag type nausea, the loss of balance and weak legs are there every now and then, the back and neck pain should start going away with visits to the chiropractor, I'm still forgetful but it seems like it's progressing though, math seems extremely hard for me to do and it's frustrating because I was a kid in high school who skipped advanced math classes and still got A's, my reading is strange like ill misread a lot of things and they don't even make sense, my vision is still kind of strange but I need to wear glasses but don't have the money for a pair right now and can't do contacts because I have extreme fear of people touching my eyes or getting close, my mind seems to be random a lot through the day like I'll remember random things out the blue, sometimes I'll lose a thought and then pick up on the thought an hour later while on another thought, and does anyone else hear stuff that stresses them out through the day? Like when my one year old niece cries it instantly stresses me and later on if I'm stressed or having high anxiety I get the cry or whatever it might be in my head. Also it seems like my brain wants to make connections to everything I see and won't let go until I can make a connection. Also I just get random words popping in nonstop too

I've also kind of become extremely impulsive at times, like if I'm frustrated with someone the words shut the **** up can come out pretty quick before me even realizing what I've said

My mood swings are still their although I don't think they are as bad and aren't as frequent but I'm 19 so I figure hormones can be playing a strong part too

One of the harder things for me right now is learning to accept this lifestyle the fact that I just can't get up and do anything I want and that my body needs rest and the fact I can't be this outrageous risk taking kid I was before not being able to play sports or video games is hard and trying to find new things I like, I'm good at and won't overstimulate is a challenge and it doesn't help the fact that if I can't get it on the first try I'm almost dine with it like my anger wins and makes me quit

I've also been talking to myself in my head a lot more just daydreaming up conversations with people, friends, family, doctors, etc. I think it might be due to loneliness because all my friends are in college and only one is close enough to visit and he does when he can and the rest of my family is kind of busy

One concern I have is, I can't sleep in my bedroom just absolutely cannot sleep there and it seems like when I'm in the room my anxiety just gets high and I'm on edge, that was where I was at the very first night when my most severe and first panic/anxiety hit me so could it be that or am I making too far of a stretch or could it be with my personality change I'm not comfortable in a tighter smaller room

So that pretty much sums it up so far on my short time dealing with this, started August 11th, I feel like I'm noticing small improvements which at times is satisfying but sometimes irritating

And also just for a fun question what keeps you all fighting through to the next day, is it hope that tomorrow will be better, is it family or friends, God? Whatever it is I would like to hear!

Sorry for the length but it's something about writing all this that makes me feel just a little bit better