My loving girlfriend who has stuck by me through 16 months of this nightmare has told me she is not in love with me anymore. She is very depressed looking and says it's tough to be around me.

The stress this is causing me is unreal. I think that my angry outbursts are the reason for this but who knows? I couldn't control myself and now I'm losing my love. I think this will be the end of me. I'm still unable to do anything besides sit around and think. My light sensitivity is awful, the new glasses only help minimally and my brain can't handle conversations or podcasts let alone music.
I don't think I can bear to lose her. I won't be able to live with the memories and how she tried yet I kept acting like a psycho and kept taking this horrible condition out on her.

I really want to leave this world and perhaps meet back up with my brother and mom and two friends I lost earlier in life. At least I could escape this suffering and torture.

I sound like such a weakling but I am not. I just can't take this anymore. She had been the only reason to fight on and I blew it. I took her for granted. I pushed her away. I'm done for.

Have you been able to get any therapy for any of these conditions on your profile page?
[Post Concussion Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Insomnia, Anxiety]
Did you have the bolded one before the PCS?
If so maybe our sister site can help with those-
http://psychcentral.com/

Have you tried any of the suggested vitamins?

In life, you will have moments when you ask if it's worth going on. You'll ask yourself what's the point? It's tough. Very tough. But you have to realise that you aren't the only one going through this. Children go through worse than this and they fight on. They never give up because life is precious and where there is life, there is hope. Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Never forget that things can and will improve for you, do not make the mistake of allowing emotions make rash decisions for you. Emotions are feelings, much of the time they are not the truth.

Don't give up. Fight back. Get help. We all need help sometimes. I was a martial artist for 7 years. I was used to feeling strong and in control, then I got my concussion and then I was weak. I needed help and I was in dark places at times. In the last year I have had a concussion, been ill 3 times flat on my back and my wife has had a brain tumour removed. All of this whilst raising two young children.

It's the hardest time of my life. And this is yours.

Don't give in.

Don't blame yourself, Danny. You've been dealt **** hand after **** hand recently, and while you've been truly strong (from my perspective here on NT), you can't change these circumstances, and they're just awful for any relationship. My girlfriend and I broke up under similar circumstances, and it caused me a ton of stress too. I'm still working through it, but it's not as bad as it was. Time may not fully heal these kinds of emotional wounds, but I think we certainly get better at carrying them with time.

You will get through this, everything changes and this will too, and it just has to get better. I know that's the hardest thing to believe, and I can't imagine how hard it is for you to believe right now, but you have to believe it (or at least act as if you believe it, even if you can't), because the alternative just isn't an option. You can't do that to your future self and those around you. I wish I could offer more comfort or solace other than wait, cause I know that's all you've been doing and things have gotten worse, but they just can't continue that way.

Yep, I feel you. Married the love of my life, got concussed two months later. Now she works and lives in South Korea and I live in my moms house. I pushed her away cause I was hurting her so much, lost all control of emotions and couldn't bear to take it out on her anymore.

I think often of ending its too...if a doctor told me with confidence that this is how I will be forever I would seriously think about it. But..such is not the case, no guarantees on this injury. You could be like this for a few years and a flip will switch and you will be a lot better and life will glow again, the waiting is hard..but yes this injury is..well it sometimes feels a lot worse than death.

But then there are people here who have lived with this for years and years and they are somehow making it. I still don't get how but I guess time will be the great teacher. And if you don't give it time then you will never know. People spend years and years in jail and then come out to live fulfilling lives, think about this as jail and you are in prison and one day you will be free. You will never experience the freedom if you decide to end it in your jail cell. Things I tell myself to keep going forward.

Danny,

I am 56 and the last 2 years have been the hardest of my life....EVER.

Between my head, my mom dying, drought in Ca. greatly impacting my business to the point of wondering if all will be lost ( I have been down 50% for 2 years) I have wondered what life is all about at times.

We all hit bumps in the road, some bigger than others but there is always smoothe road ahead. Don't let yourself believe that there is never a good day ahead, it's a lie of emotions ruling the roost.

Bud

Hi Danny,

Please push through this. Part of the reason we feel this way is Because of the pcs, as my neuropsychologist told me. I've been struggling with feeling this badly also. But I know if I give in and give up, that this thing beats me.

It's tough I know, and I wish we could all be there in person as support as well. Hang in there. Your strength is an inspiration to us all. Big hugs


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The appointment tomorrow should help. Just by making the appointment and reaching out to the hotlines tell you that there is still hope.

Hold out. Occupie you mind for now and take one day at a time...one hour at a time...or every five minutes at a time if you need.

Keep going...you can do this. Big hugs.


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There isn't much I can do to occupy my time at this point without the onset of symptoms. I've been doing OK today but I'm constantly trying to avoid sunlight of any kind even with the theraspecs. I was doing podcasts last month but this whole mess started around Christmas and then I pushed it too far with music and here I am back to square one with horrible timing. I will try to work my way up again but I doubt that will be successful. I'm just lacking self control at this point.

I'm scared to rest and scared to be up and around sunlight. This is a miserable existence.

I will say she has been texting me but I don't know what that means. There is no I love you or pet names, she's treating me like a friend.

Ugh my head is starting to hurt from this post.

I'm so sorry it's so tough for you Danny.

Crisis line staff may not understand PCS but they do understand that people are dealing with grief and despair for so many reasons, and you've been grieving for a long time.

You're not just dealing with having lost so many loved ones in your life, you've most probably been grieving the loss of your direction as well. One day you were at University and everything was on track for your professional career and the next thing you know everything changed.

I often think about all of you young people who are dealing with these dramatic changes in your lives. You have dreams and work hard to achieve them and then one day you're totally sidetracked.

I'm glad you're seeing someone tomorrow. I'm sorry you need to wait until tomorrow is all. Keep safe.