Oh Mari, I wish it were so easy to fix, or make better. Like a diabetic checks their sugar level and takes insulin to adjust. Gosh maybe someday it will be like that.

I think of you all on here everyday, and when I am crashing at 5 am until 9 am, I know I am not alone...

Why can't the doc's just figure out a balance and a decent medication that is even keel. Kicks in the high test gas when we need it, and slows down to the low grade to let us have a sleep pattern.

Here I feel better when someone is awake, I feel most vulnerable at night? But yet was a cop pulling the mid nights and wishing for the action

Feels like I can give in to sleep when the sun will soon be up, sucks for having energy though....a nap at supper time or 4 pm helps.

Hugs

Dear Di,

I think in my case that the weird sleeping is related to anxiety.
I love the night, but not for sleeping.
And I guess I am not the only one like that.

You are right. Maybe we could find some scientists researching this somewhere.

I hope you find ways to get more sleep in the daytime to make up for not sleeping at night.

=-=-=-

Once I did a cortisol 24 hour spit test.
The results were completely wacky: It was low when it should have been high. What a mess.
Probably, my other hormones are confused and not working at the right performance level.

=-=-=-=-

Be kind to yourself.
I have been learning to be kind -- others on this board have taught me.


M.

Wow scientifically, we are supposed to have levels of melatonin, the cortisol, and all the chemical balance in harmony.

I hope they can get the body on course and you can enjoy the summer.

I am off to do mindless activity to harvest my crops, feed my fish and serve the food from the cafe, not a FB addict, but it takes the heavy thoughts away....then I may sleep.
nitey nite,
di

I was into some facebook games, for some reason I am now just roaming
through at times.

Life just throws some differennt things in.

Donna

i am glad you will be trying to get in to see pdoc.

i hope he will be able to help, in some way.

i want you to feel better.

~ waves ~

Hi,

During the week I had chest pains and other stuff going on.

I am going to try to step down from some duties.
I'm not sure when I should let me team members know so that they can prepare to step up. I'm freeeking tired of being their leader. One of them can be the leader -- or not, I don't care anymore. It won't be I.

I don't know how to do it but I will meditate on it.
(don't laugh at me, but one of my main goals is to get serious about meditation. tdoc says to do 5 mins everyday. I'll start later today after I go to bed.)

Also tdoc will have insight on how to handle stepping down when I get around to seeing her next month.

I did walk on Sunday. Walking is good for me. It has always worked for me in the past.
I think I can do more of it now that I have some time opening up in my week.

M.

Sorry that it has taken me so long to check in and see how you are doing!!!
How are the med things going? Are you still having problems with the klonopin dosage? How about the sleep and the anxiety, are they any better? Did you ever get a hold of your psych doc to see if you could get an earlier appt? Sorry for all the questions but I am concerned and am also trying to play catch up with what you are going through! I can say that I have also been in the situation where I have felt so overwhelmed I have taken more than my fair share of klonopin. It does seem to help but it only helped me for a little while. I had to see my nurse pract to help with some med changes. I hope everything works out well for you!! Please keep me posted!!

collinsc

i am really worried about you. i don't know how old you are but you are far too young to have chest pains. in many religions meditation is very important. rabbi nachman says you should meditate two hours a day. i don't do it but i have lately been thinking of God's mercy. that is so great that you have been walking....reducing responsibility now sounds like such a fantastic idea ....why wait until you might breakdown. it sounds as if for a long time you are headed in the direction of taking care of yourself but there is so much repair to be done besides contending with ongoing bipolar
fondly
bobby