Debbie, spouses, children or those around you have no idea of our conditions.

My daughter has OCD. She is on medication, and although the bad dreams and inappropriate thoughts are gone, once she gets a bee in her bonnet - often very dangerous bees - I lose it.
Ninety five percent of the time she goes ahead and does whatever she wishes to anyway - disregarding the highly probable dangerous consequences. She tells me that I am always negative and as she is nineteen she is free to live her own life as she wishes to.

I also have a mental health problem, I should understand. But I can't. I am too worried for her. As a mother, I feel I need to protect her and she just WILL NOT listen.

Generally most of the time families have no idea what this is all about. Doesn't matter how much one educates them, they can and do find our behaviour frustrating. My spouse gets it most of the time, but once in a while flips it.
Can't really blame him. Poor thing didn't bargain for - 'for better or worse' would be mostly worse. Doesn't matter how supportive they are - there are nuances that they will simply never get. On these occasions I just walk away.

A support group is a great idea. As is therapy if you feel you need it. It is comforting and a release to be around company that will appreciate and understand you.

At home, reminders every once in a while is the best that we can do.

How long is it since you've been diagnosed and put on medication?

Dear Debbie,
Would your husband be willing to go see your therapist for one or two sessions with you?

My therapist got my husband to come in so that the three of us could talk about ways to help me. (The therapist was not directing anything at him necessarily -- only discussed ways for him to work with me better at home.)
We've done this once a year for the last three or four years.

The first few times I brought him helped tremendously.

M.

Dear Debbie,

i know this feeling and it feels horrible:

yes, your family is struggling seeing you down, because they care,

but i guarantee...

*sorry if this is kinda, in your face*

no matter how great their struggles seem to you now, losing you would be a much, much bigger burden to them. and no, they would not get over it. people never get over suicide. even natural death is a toughie and some people don't get over that quickly or easily (and some do not get over it at all) ... but folks can never quite wrap their minds, let alone their hearts, around suicide.

so don't ever let yourself be convinced that they'd be "better off" without you. it is a lie told by depression. it is not the case.

~ waves ~

Once again, thank you all. I just saw my therapist on Thursday and my medication pdoc last night. We've decided not to mess with my meds as of yet because I was just recently put back on that dang seroquel. I go back to him in two weeks unless the need becomes great and then will go before. He's great, very available. Even tells me to call if need be day or night.

I go see my therapist again on Tuesday. Been trying to cut back the ECT to every three weeks rather than every other week. I just hate the side effects.

I know if I gave up that it would hurt my family and friends. Although I am in suicide ideation mode this is what stops me. I have a safety contract with both my pdoc and therapist. Also, my husband is in charge of my meds right now as that is most likely how I would do it.

I was wondering if anyone knows where the sticky thread is with all the links regarding disability, etc? I saw it once and can't seem to find it again.

Debbie

Not sure where the disability thread is. But I'll keep a eye out.

I can really understand the problems you are dealing with.

I have a husband that has never really, till recently understood
that our son's have problems.

But then I started having health problems too. And he had to
step up to the plate and take over for me.

So he had to start trying to understand what I dealt with daily.
Even for my oldest who was at that point a adult, and is about
23 and is now 28.

He has many issues, and is changing daily. Right now he needs
so many kinds of help. That I wouldn't know where to start.
My husband seems to be getting through to him. When no one
else is. So he is in charge. And as of yesterday, he got a wake
up call about his mother, again. The daughter in laws, had been
more her caregivers. And now the son's are doing more. Because
she needs them.

Oh you don't need to here my soap box problems

Sorry
Donna

Hey there Deb

i am sooo glad to hear you have safety contracts with both your therapist and pdoc. and that your pdoc is available for you to call if need be.

i think it was probably smart to cut back on the ECT if it was bothering you too much. you don't need the fix being worse than the problem, for sure. i hope that 1ce every three weeks is helpful enough and tolerable. do you have any idea how long you will have to do the treatments?

you are doing well for yourself, in this situation, and have a good team on your side. and we are all on your side here too.

~ waves ~

Just having the worst day. The worst life. My husband can't seem to cope anymore. Telling me to just get up, smile and act as if. I feel so alone. Can not take anymore of this.

Debbie

(((Debbie)))

your husband does not understand.

it is hard for him but it is harder for you.

just try to forgive him if you can, and ignore his remarks as best you can. it might be good if he would agree to do a therapy session or two with you, as Mari suggested. or even to just ask your pdoc to talk to him.

acting as if is not such bad advice for a very short period of time, but as an overall coping mechanism it just doesn't go very far. it just needs to get better and the waiting for that is hard.

~ waves ~

Dear Debbie,

My hubby sometimes gets overwhelmed by this and then makes things worse for me.

1. Sometimes I can try to help him help me by kind of giving him a 1/2 day or one vacation from me. I send him on an errand or help him find something to do so he can get involved in something other than my issues.

OR

2. Sometimes if I am in good enough shape I hide in my room and leave him by himself so he has some alone time and does not have to hear about my needs.

This works but usually when I most need him I am least likely to give him a break from me.

3. Can you get anyone else besides your husband to come visit you or sit with with you for half a day?


It's not his fault that he is not perfect. He is probably good to you most of the time.

I wish that you had other people to lean on besides him.

M.

HI Debbie, I am sorry that your husband is not on board with you right now.
Would you mind refreshing my memeory about what meds you are on?
can't rmemeber if you have ever tried welbutrin or lamictal...I think Iread that you were on lithium but now am not sure.
many hugs for you today.
Are you close to your children? they are adults now, are they supportive of you.
Do you have any girl friends that you can reach out to?
Does pray or meditation help you get thru the day, many people find comfort there.
many hugs to you today.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi