Hope you are doing OK. My own issues with depression are OK, beating it back pretty good. Still cannot find a post op pain doctor. I can't do the surgery until I find a pain specialist. My own pain doc of years, didn't want to do it, sent a letter to inform me of that. So....was sent to another I didn't like at all. Won't use him, no confidence in him at all. He spoke to me as if I were a child, not 60, and ignorant of the dangers of medications. After 8 years does he think I am stupid? This treatment does lead a person to feel bad. So here I sit wondering what will happen, and if I can have the surgery at all. No cutting for ginnie, until I have the help I need. Take care bobby, I think of you, waves and this group here every day. ginnie

sorry i haven't written sooner. it took me about a minute to get exasperate out but i was really stuck between exacerbate and exasperate. that never happened to me before and it was really scarey. it happened a to a milder degree when i tried again after i successfully had done it. I do a crossword puzzle during the week days to see what the status quo is and so far that is okay.
I forgot how long the psychological battery took but i would guess one and half hours. there was the interview, the bender gesalt, draw a picture, wisc, and the rorschach usually.
I don't know what kind of mood i am in. I couldn't force myself to write but i was able to read the posts. the other day i switched taking risperdal and topamax to day time rather than taking them at night. I thought that might help. I don't feel grounded at all. I also have been spending money on supplements. Much more spending than usual. Some are for weight loss and i don't know if they will work.
everything is an effort except spending.
bobby

be careful about the ones you will be taking for weight loss. look up the ingrediants there may be some that interact with your meds. or could cause you agitation if they are stimulants.
just be cautious.
bizi

I agreewith bizi, just be careful of suppliments. I do the opposite as you with the weight issue. I loose weight for the wrong reason. When depressed or worried, I can't eat. This way is not healthy either. I spend my money with books. Today I am "Fin" a girl who pretends to be a boy. She is on her first voyage after being Hijacked into service on a trade ship. None of the crew knows she is a girl. This takes place during the civil war, and this ship brings in goods for trade. They are dodging the war, and Fin is just the upper rigging help, being trained and worked half to death. The adventure and the characters take me away from all my worries, depression, sorrow, all of it. I wind up in a place where the life I have, can be put on hold and give me peace for a time. I wish for you an adventure, where you can loose yourself and just enjoy yourself even if it is a short time. You won't eat, I bet you will forget all about that too! I care about you Bobby. I hope this day turns out to be good. Believe me, I am dealing with lots of issues right now, and when it gets to be too much, I take that break and go sailing. ginnie

I don't think they are stimulants. one is chia seeds which i haven't gotten yet. i guess they are more food and supposedly so good for you. another is pure green coffee bean extract which has less caffeine than a cup of coffee. i am a big coffee drinker.
bobby

dear ginnie
i used to be able to escape into books. I am so glad you are able to. lately i don't seem to be able to. i don't know why i remain so down and lonely. i feel so isolated and cut off. yesterday was so bad. i did speak to a couple of friends but that didn't seem to help. what helped was i called my neighbor who just had some plastic surgery on friday and she has two dogs. i asked her if she wanted me to walk with her around the block when she took out the doggies. she did so i did. i snapped out of it for a while.
bobby

Bobby

I bet that not only did that make you feel better. But it made her feel
good too. Because its not easy to do walking of dogs when you aren't
feeling your best.

So that was really a nice thing to do.

Donna

I don't know why I still can find escape in books. I suffer from depression too as you know. It is in control, but sometimes I feel like it isn't. I guess what I try to do is play a roll game like in a movie, and become someone else while I read. It is getting inside a character and living those adventures yourself. You can be depressed when you are on the top mast on a ship rocking around. It is worth a try to pick up something, maybe something you always wanted to do, or someplace you always wanted to visit. Do you want to be on a caravan crossing the silk road, and meeting all kinds of cool people? Everyplace in our planet, and universe actually is open for travel. My depression slides away on the adventure, and I do hope this can happen for you. It would be a start, so that getting out of bed is not sorrow. When a person is stuck not going anywhere, it settles into your bones in grief, that awful depression. If you get unstuck, perhaps some joy in life can be yours again. I do struggle bobby, just like you do. I wish to the Good Lord above I didn't have to face and deal with what I must. I write to others here for advise and comfort all the time. I get my strength from people too that I have met right here. Not so sure I would have pulled up out of the nose dive without all of you. Keep trying Bobby, and figure out something, or someplace you want to be, and go there. I care about you. Nobody wants to be lonely and isolated. I am with you in spirit. I speak to Gerry alot. She has given me some strength just from talking to her.
Have peace in your life today, find that moment of joy where life can be ok even if it is just in the moment. your friend in spirit, ginnie

Dear Bobby,
Has switching the time for the risperdal and topamx helped?

I understand when you write about not feeling "grounded." I hope that some days are better for you.

Drs. Weil and Oz like chia seeds. . . such opportunity in those tiny seeds to potentially provide great health benefits.
http://www.emaxhealth.com/1275/why-d...eeds-superfood
M

Hi Mari
the switch didn't help so i switched back to taking them at night. thanks for the article. it was good. the warning at the end was a bit scary about it might affecting your intestines because of the high fiber. I must remember to drink a lot of water.
I don't know what to do about not feeling grounded.
yesterday was okay. i went with my neighbor twice walking her dogs. one was a longer walk...six blocks....i really felt it. i also helped her wash her hair and got the blood out. she also had a brow lift. we watched the golf match. she is fine now but she wants me to go for her nine thirty walk this morning for me. she said she wants me to get healthier. i took a bath last night instead of this morning so i will be ready to go. I wasn't by myself yesterday much and didn't have time to brood.
bobby