Dear Waves,

I forgot about the B vitamins.
I have only had coffee two times in my entire life, so I don't know what it dose ( Perhaps both times I drank it I did not enjoy it.)


I am not taking my vits (multi vit, D3, fish oil), mostly because it is too hard and I confusing them with the meds. . . . someone who understands memory could explain it I guess . . . . something to do with the hand gestures, the water, the swallowing, the thinking . . . .
And then FEELING later that I have already taken my medications when I have not. Or worse, over thinking and wondering if I perhaps have taken the meds and might be double taking them.
The pill minder I am using this week helps with routine but today is the last day of the week and I am not sure I feel like the hassle of filling it out again for the next week.

'Good that your mom is aware.
I hope your steps to head off the migraine work.

Take care and sleep well.

Mari

P.S.
Apologies for rambling.
My day (mood?)went south and I feel crapppy. I am glad I was o.k. earlier when you were posting. Thanks for updating me.

Waves

I have been gone all day. But I am glad you are okay.

And thanks to those who have been responding.

Donna

My dear sister !!!

I know that being maaaaannniiiiiaaaaaaccccccc can be pretty annoying, but I always think it is way better than being depressed AND it is actually funny sometimes

You know, to be honest, even under my meds, there are quite several days when I feel sooooooo HIGH !!!! higher than the empire state building.... hehe Dont know, I think some days the brain just beat the meds ??

I will tell you, I started doing bike... and yes, it does help BUT it is also dangerous because if I do it when Im high, I overdo and like today, my blood pression goes so down I almost fell down...

So, we are just... special hehe

I love you

Feel better soon !

Hi, Waves,

How is it going today?

Do you have cooking plans for the day?



M

i am awake now - for the THIRD TIME this morning!!! - due to interferences with my surroundings.

i had horrific dreams this night. dont' say it was the cheese, i often have cheese before bed without these results. my dreams were like a continued horrorshow.

i am ok. but i am already like reaally searing MADDDDDD i already bit both my parents heads off about everything they did this morning which interfered with even my basic sleep which is sacred right now. the fact is i even need extra sleep - not just for the mania but to help reduce/prevent migraines.

so when i chill out i will post again.

just a couple short notes for now:

-----------------------------------------------------
Hi Majo! it is sooo good to see you!

And Donna, thank you for reading too, and posting and the good thoughts.

Mari, try your best to sneak a window when you can fill that pill minder. i know refilling is the hardest thing about them and i have lapsed on that too from time to time. But to me that hassle is almost the same hassle as pulling out all the boxes to take my meds when they are not in the pillminder. i also have higher room for error when i take them directly from their boxes each night. pillminder dispensing i find less error-prone, perhaps because of my process for it. and then, that covers the whole week instead of one night. maybe ask yourself how long it takes, and then when you have a window of that length, set yourself to the task. it can be reassuring to remember the "hassling feeling" will have very very limited duration.

~ waves ~

Waves,

'Sorry about the disturbing dreams.

I hope you get sleep.
It is hard dealing with people.

The pill minder requires a great deal of focus and concentration. I do not have that. I do not know what is going on with my head.
Last night I filled it when I had two night left.
I used the set of pills as a pattern to replicate on the other 5 nights. I think I can take a picture on my phone of one complete square. That will also help me feel more comfortable about filling in the little squares.

M

dear Mari

this is good... you have found some techniques to help you deal with the pillminder difficulties. and i'm glad you got it refilled. i do that also sometimes - refill it when i still have one or two nights to go. i mostly do that so i know beforehand if i need to go pick up a refill.

yours is a very visual process.

i use a sequential one. here is mine:

• make a to do pile in front of me, and close to me, of all the boxes of my daily meds.
  • take a box from the to-do pile and "do" that box as follows:
    • take the correct number of pills from that box for one day.
    • place the med into the first empty slot in the pillminder.
    • repeat with each empty slot, until all have this med in it.
  • set that box down to my left and at arms length. this is my done pile.
    (i place it on the left because i'm right-handed.
    that and the distance help me not to confuse this pile with the to-do pile. )
  • take another box from the to-do pile and "do" that box as described for the first box.
• i am done when all the boxes are in the done pile.

this allows me to break down what i must focus on.

1. determine which meds i take daily. no dosage consideration here.
2. determine total daily dosage of a single med.

repetition does the rest. i know when i am done because i have no more med boxes in front of me.

i am not suggesting you use my method. i just thought i'd post it to you in case it were helpful. everyone's thinking is different.

i liked your idea of using a photograph to help you reproduce a pattern, if pattern-matching is the most natural way for you to approach this problem.

again congratulations on getting the pillminder done!! I am proud of you!



~ waves ~

i seem to be calming down ... i think? or maybe not so much and i'm getting used to this. i don't know. i also have a migraine which makes it so i suffer physical pain if i shout... eh, once, twice, and then the impulse control starts to kick in out of self preservation i guess? but only insofar as volume....

i got real mad at my father when he threw a silent tantrum and refused to come to dinner. all because he was interfering with mom's cooking - by touching raw poultry and wiping areas where it had been with a cloth that was not supposed to be "contaminated." he got scolded and thought it was funny. my mother got upset when he came around the second time and then he got all insulted. he was supposed to watch the bread and just ignored everything and sat and played computer games.

result. he din't come to dinner and let my spinach thingie get cold - which is good hot because i put a light romano cheese and breadcrumb topping on it, for very thin crunchy layer. after dinner he went and dumped all his food in bowls - indication to put away. he schlopped my spinach thingie in the bowl haphazard like it was pig slop. i had served it carefully, in nice squares to keep the topping together. i got furious and went back and ate his portion.

no i wasn't really hungry for it. but i made it with a freaking migraine and who knows how it will be tomorrow. unlikely for him to touch leftovers and it will not be the same way reheated in the microwave. i am not going to let him judge it based on a badly reheated version.

be was acting like a two year old. but for the first time i really mouthed off to my mom... called him serious bad words... i was so angry. so i think he is not the only one acting like a two year old here mostly in my case lack of countenance.

my mother said but he might have eaten it later (yeah, cold, and schlopped) my response was i don't give a ______. so even though i feel calmer i can maybe observe myself but i don't like what i see...

and i still have a stupid migraine - i took a pill too but it didn't work very well. i also burned my hands on the oven. treating with lavender oil but the worst spot is still hurting and i am getting lazy with applying the oil now...

grrrrrr. oh and mom didn't care for the potato thingie... didn't improve things. they have to be fed stuff they would make themselves. they are culturally bankrupt especially dad. mom at least likes chinese food but we can never have it because dad hates it. they like curry but have no concept of curry. they like one curry recipe, basically. i've made vegetable curries and dad says "where's the meat."

sorry i'm really irritated at him tonight. first he made fun of my mom's legitimate kitchen-hygiene observations, then he kept interfering - once he ranted at me about how he hates being interfered with and how he "doesnt' interfere" when other people do things YEARRRIGHT. he doesn't ask questions or criticize, he just comes and MESSES with your stuff, with actions, before you even know what is happening.

~ waves ~

Yes,

Wow, the sequential process you describe is amazing.

I also use spatial ordering. Also colors.

For example tonight when I take my medications, I will take the pills out of the pill minder to double check.

I will lay them out in a vertical row by color. Bottom (South) is the darker color and I go light as I go North. The colors do not work out exaclty right but every med has its position in the column --- same position every time I take my meds.

This is probably why the boxes in the pill minder do not work for me. I like the position.
(This tells me that I could consider using different kind of pill minder that lets me have rows as well as columns.)

I have whole additional procedure to do when I am splitting the capsules adn refilling as I am these days. I have to make sure I do not swallow a full capsule that I think is partly full and so on.


Mari

Waves,

You might indeed be calmer and you have the migraine. Yesterday you had some room/space/time to yourself wherein you could air out the place. I wish you had that opportunity everyday.

I hate getting burns at the stove. 'Glad that lavender works.

Your father is like every man I have known -- interferes in the kitchen in non helpful ways. If the man is doing the dinner from start to finish by themselves that is one thing, but when they "contribute" it is usually not good and feelings can go bad. Thank goodness the food was fine because he was not allowed much input.

I wish I could taste your potato dish. I am sure it was good.
You did right to eat his share tonight when it is fresh and at the right temp.

That is annoying. Mom was not thrilled with your dish either.
I guess your dad needed to do his pout-y thing. Try not to take it personally when he acts like a child.


Mari