Trigger my work friend is in ICU from a possible overdose.
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My work friend's partner called me tonight to tell me that my workfriend George is in a coma in the ICU from a possible overdose. The partner found G in a coma Wednesday morning when he tried to wake him up for work.

I tried to be comforting to the partner/boyfriend and not ask a lot of questions. But I don't understand how their can be any question about whehter the od was on purpose or not. Duh. He spoke about the S word all the time and his med bottles are empty. Are doctors morons?

And I feel bad because the last time I saw him, he said the S word and I refused to listen to him. I did tell him that I would call my therapist for the name of the pdoc she works with. I didn't get around to it.
But the partner told me tonight that G. would not have driven more than 5 minutes away anyway and the people I have names for are 45+ minutes away.

The two have been heading for a breakup. Now the partner is staying at the hospital round the clock, even sleeping there.

G is at one of the best hospitals around. . . . Except I learned something disconcerting. The stupid loser pdoc who (mis) treats my work friend is also on the board of directors at the hospital. I am sooooooo not impressed. The partner says the pdoc's picture is on several walls on the first floor when you walk into the hospital.

A big mess.
I wish I had not encouraged him to go back to work. He seemed to want me to help him decide. He wasn't ready.

I had ignored voice mail for two days. I feel bad about that. Tonight when I picked up the phone, the partner said he had been trying to call.

I told him that I would say a prayer for him and for G.
Also I have to announce to work that G is in hospital and will be missing days for a while.

M

when people are determined, I don't think there is anything anybody can do...
he tried dragging you into his web and I hope you don't feel any guilt. From what you have written, he hasn't tried to help himself and nobody can help him if he doesn't help himself.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. You already have enough to contend with.
Bobby

Thank you, Bobby.

I'm starting to get anxiety in my chest. I have no way to know if this is from the change in my Verapamil dose or if it is from the news I got this evening.

Maybe I'll just go to bed early for a change.

Mari

the news you got is so very heavy and you have sich a giving and responsible nature. You were trained to be a caretaker and it is so difficult to break the role or the feelings of responsibility for the other. I think the transition is feeling sadness for the other than the need to step in and help and if you don't step in, you feel guilt and failure. It is a huge leap to just feel sadness and to be sure to take care of yourself and not feel selfish.
I almost offered to help Ron again (who is in a wheelchair) I caught myself and said that when I last offered I suffered a major depression that still hasn't left and I went sleep deprived and had to switch and up medications some of which caused me to gain more weight.
I very much liked the article you put on the sinead thread...I hope she had a lot of viewers.
You have to tell yourself what a wonderful person you are and what a hero you are coping with being bipolar and coming from such a dysfunctional family and being robbed of a childhood.
Bobby

Please don't blame yourself for not listening or picking up his calls.

There is nothing you really could of done, if he was determined it would of happened sooner or later.

I hope he pulls through and can get a good p-doc and therapist, and his meds monitered.

I assume he will be transferred (maybe) to a rehab place after the hospital, which would be helpful.

Hang in there. Lots of Hugs, Nikko

Dear Mari,
I am sorry that your friend is suffering so...
and agree with the others that this is not your burdon to bear.
I also know that you are a very caring and nurturing woman who takes on too much....
Please resist this responsibility, I can't tell you how to feel only the fact that it is not your fault.
Perhaps this suicide was an attempt to save his relationship....very sad.
I know that you are hurting....
((((HUGS))))
bizi
and yes the change in meds can have profound effects.

Oh Mari, I am so sorry that this happened, but like it has been said determined people will not let anything get in the way of their intentional actions to S. Please don't be hard on yourself over this, you aren't at fault in any way, that is the big thing with S it makes people around the person question what they could have done differently and I don't think that's fair to anyone. You have to watch out for yourself, you could not have done anything to help this fellow, he is the one with the problems that he can't handle. Don't take on the emotional guilt trip that S can push on people, okay? I'm sorry you're in pain right now, I know how the anxiety feels, see if you can take something for it. That's all I can do to control mine, is Lorazepam.

I feel badly for your co-worker. It must be so hard on you, Mari. It's hard to remember we are not responsible for other people, no matter what they do.

*It's hard for me.*

I know you are hurting and I wish I could help you feel at peace.

In December 2005 my girlfriend spent 8 days in a diabetic coma. She got there via extraordinarily self-destructive behavior.
She's ok now working and doing whatever. She has no idea of what she put her family and friends through.

I don't like that I know a lot about comas and ICU floors. I don't like that I know that comas, for ex, are nothing like people see on TV and that people can be in pain even though they are in a coma. I don't like knowing about how many drs of different specialities get called in to see what bodily systems are still working and which are shutting down and/or coming back up.

I need to change my karma or change my friends. I think that karma is hard to change.

Today was a weird day at work. I felt all alone.
Even though I ordinarily would not see my work friend because we work different hours and different days, I felt strange being in the office knowing he is in hospital.

Mari

This sounds very hard on you
Hang on to your hubby ...life is very precious(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
bizi