Dear BJ,

Congrats on your nursery rhyme. I know that you struggled with that all week.

It's common that people try to look and act better than they really feel when they are with the tdoc / pdoc. I think it is normal, considering we do that during the day when we have interactions with other people -- it is hard to switch that off.

And most docs can see through it -- so it is ok.

But it can be more helpful if you can be as honest as possible with yourself and the tdoc. It makes progress move along better if you do not have to spend emotional energy to cover up how bad things are.


A few times with my old tdoc many years ago, I used to bring in an agenda (2 copies -- one for him and one for me) that even included how much time we would spend on each item.
That was my way of asking him to help me by making sure that we got to all the issues that I thought were important.

The last time I saw my current tdoc, I had a handwritten list of about 5 things that were a big problem that particular day. I read them to her at the beginning of the session. She made a comment or two, and then we went on to something else that we had been working on long term.

But most of the time with her, I do not mention the little weekly stuff. I don't need her help coping with my day to day stuff -- I use my sis or this board or something else for that.
With her, I jump right into what we have been working on and off for years. Sometimes she wants to slow down and go over the past week anyway.

Other weeks, she does not want to go over my daily / weekly events, but wants to stick to my main themes.

Do you bring a watch with you?
You are allowed to look at it.
Sometimes some of us develop a pretty good sense of what 50 minutes is. I can feel when the session is going to wrap up.
Or I can look at my watch or a clock -- if she has a clock out on her desk.

These things that I mention are little practical matters. (We need a book about how to get the most out of therapy!)

The important thing is to be aware of your progress and to feel good about it. You will keep progressing.



M.