Yes, ya'll have hit the nail on the head. Folks who are genuinely concerned and happy to see us.....and the ones who just want to know where you've been......and the in-between ones. It's just too much to keep explaining it all over and over. And it's not anybody's fault. I'd want to know if it were me on the other side. But it's overwhelming and just an assault to my senses and emotions. It's exhausting.

I've been feeling badly about not physically going to church for quite some time... I used to sing in the choir and was very involved in the Sunday School classes, pageants and special celebrations. I even worked with the homeless weekly through my church. That all seems like a different person now when I look back... and it's only a few yrs ago. I sometimes think I might try to actually get ready and go, navigate the parking lot, navigate the large building, etc and then I realize that I'm too exhausted to even try..... so I watch it online. I agree that you don't have to be in a bldg to pray and talk to God, but I do wonder if HE'd rather I try to go anyway....This conversation made me feel much better. I'm realizing i need to be very stingey with my energy....most people just don't understand this, but how could they? It's just so weird.... How can we expect 'civilians' to understand this?

I guess I am blessed, I still can go to church and most of the people do not know what I have. Though now I have taken myself off all of the ministry duties, people are asking Why are you not doing these things. But with dropping things, not good to drop the communion cup on the floor or the hosts. I also do not read any more, sometimes sight is not that good, or I could fall, or lose my balance. Again not good. So I sit in the pew with my Husband and our Granddaughter who we are raising. I am blessed to be able to go. And when I can no longer attend - they will send someone to the house to read me the scriptures and to offer me the Body of my Lord. So I will have mass/church at my own home.

See if your church's will do that for you. Come and read to you and give you communion and even companionship.