Does anyone want to talk about depression? I find that if I am "sensible," and careful not to wear myself out by running non-vital errands or going places for fun, I get into an awful funk. I feel shut in the house, and I don't feel like doing even the things I could do, like hobbies.

On the other hand, if I go out and run around, it sure lifts my mood--but it's stupid, because I make my symptoms much worse.

I'm sure that all of you know exactly what I mean. How do I find a balance? How do I take care of myself mentally/emotionally without neglecting myself physically? How do I take care of myself physically without neglecting myself emotionally? Let's share some tips. Would conseling help? It would take a great deal of effort to get myself to a regular appointment like that--I'd need to be convinced it was worth it.

Thanks.

Abby

Post Diagnostic Depression, eh?

I know this is a serious topic. Having a chronic illness is not fun and everyone has a different level of ability to cope with it. Yeah, I completely think that seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist - one who specializes in chronic illness - is a great idea. Why? Because they can give you coping skills, unique to you or not, that help tremendously with getting through hard times. They can talk about what triggers your sadness, what makes it better. You can say things to them that you can't sometimes say to others, thereby making it a very honest and useful discussion. Though I find any appointments to be exhausting, so be wary of that. And you don't have to see someone on a weekly basis or anything. Even every few months might work.

I know what makes me ok on a daily basis and work at keeping things that way. Music is a big deal for me, it usually pulls me out of a funk. Or learning something new - love the History Channel. Fish truly is a great mood food, as are others.

But it's about what makes YOU feel better that counts. I know you've been trying to get diagnosed for way too long and you might think that getting that diagnosis means that you can suddenly "adjust" to MG. Yeah, right. It's been almost ten years since diagnosis for me and I still catch myself in complete denial. It's so hard to adjust to the "finality" of it all.

Set yourself up for success. Rethink how you WANT to live your best life. And let it stew for awhile. It's really an art form to be able to carve out a little happy place for yourself, in spite of MG.


Annie

I have said it many times, that one of the major problems I see with this illness, is the fact that it gives you (and many times those around you) the illussion that you can do much more then you really can.

this "tight rope" walking of finding the way to do exactly what you can, not less and not more, is a nearly impossible task.

so, if you do more then you can, you crash. if you do less, you feel lazy and ask yourself if you couldn't have done more.

another problem is that many times one day is not the same as the other, one week is not the same as the previous week and even one year is not the same as the year before.

what seemed to work perfectly well for a few months, ends up being a very bad choice a few months later. some times the "price" for overdoing is not apperant right away. you look great, you seem to be able to handle your work load very well and then just a few more minor tasks that look no big-deal to you and any one else are enough to tip you over, and put you back in square 1.

I don't think there is a way to fully learn to live with this, and unless your illness is under excellent control (which I believe is so for some) this is a constant struggle that is an integral part of this illness.

there are times when you physically crash because you did too much, other times when you are emotionally run down because you look so good that every one forgets that you are ill and you find yourself again in the position of having to explain your dissabilities, when you were trying so hard to do the exact opposite.

and I think the only people that truly understand this are other MG patients.

that's why, even though I am busy, don't have much I can learn about this illness any more, don't need any practical advice, have already written everything I have to add, I come here every now and then, to a place where I know what I am experiencing is not so unique and everyone else is having similar experiences.

Thanks, Annie and Alice. I knew you would totally understand, and have very practical suggestions. Alice, that's exactly it: whatever I learn about how to live has to be constantly adjusted.

Annie, that helps a lot, what you say about the benefit of even infrequent counseling. I can face making one appointment. It's the idea of "every Monday" or something like that that overwhelms me. I will also see if I can find a chronic illness counselor--I didn't realize there were those sorts of specialists.

Depression is a funny thing. I don't really notice feeling sad. What I notice is that I don't feel like doing anything. And, of course, not doing anything creative puts me deeper in to a funk. It's a vicious circle.

Alice, the thought that there is no way to fully learn to live with this disease is an extremely useful thought for me. If I cannot walk to church, or go grocery shopping, I accept that as part of my disease. It doesn't feel like a personal failure. But if I misjudge my capability and overdo it, or (on the other extreme) if I underestimate myself and end up being lazy, those things feel like personal failures. But they're not! They're part of the disease, too. I need to put them in the same category in my mind with other things I can't do, or have trouble doing, because of the disease.

Thanks. This is really helpful to me to talk about these things. I am going to look for a counselor/therapist now.

Abby

Abby,

Both Annie and Alice offer sound advise. This disease is a constant struggle both physically and mentally. Every day is about choices, what can I/should I do today, what can I put off until tomorrow. Somewhere along the way we find a balance and learn to change the way we do things.

Remember you're not alone, we might not always have advice but we always here!

Rachel

Thanks, Rachel. I find wonderful support here.

Does anyone know how I can find the right kind of therapist/counselor? They have lists of specialties. Some of those lists include "chronic illness management," but the lists are so long. They seem to specialize in everything! Not sure how to go about this...

Abby

How do you find a balance? How do I take care of myself mentally/emotionally without neglecting myself physically yuo asked.

I don't know if this will help you. We are all different I guess.

I could never learn to meditate but before coming down with MG but I exercized and stretched regularly and cleared my head by deep breathing and counting my breaths. And still do.

I no longer use weights but bands. And not necessarily the same strength banbs every day. Muscle strength not the same every day.

I know I we are not able to develope mucsle strength but we still can remain flexible with good range of motion because we are still able to maintain flexibity in our muscles if we work at it and I think that this is important.

The deep breathing and counting breaths eliminates all other thougths and whe finished I feel much more peaceful and eliminates a lot of the brain fog you hear about in a lot of posts.

I have no idea if this would work for anybody else mentaly but I know it is very important to for us to stay as flexible as possible.

Tony

Alice md this is truly eloquent............words I would like to share with my youngest daughter who unfortuntely wants a firm diagnosis before she really helps. I missed her daughters last birthday.

The next time I saw her while taking me to an eye appointment, I brought up going to the daughters recital. She angrily said "well only if you know you are REALLY gonna come!" I tried to say a bit about what happened that day. My breathing was so bad and the rest of me so intensely worse I knew it was dangerous to go. Also I couldnt talk from a strength issue.

I messed up I guess as I didnt call her the next week after the birthday. But I knew she would be very angry so I couldnt. I know the anger is about her being very afraid of where this will go with me this sick. I cant always deal with being strong enough to rise above and handle the angry. She very well know I would have to be near hospitalization to miss a grandchild b'day party.
Annie59

[QUOTE=alice md;723052]I have said it many times, that one of the major problems I see with this illness, is the fact that it gives you (and many times those around you) the illussion that you can do much more then you really can.

this "tight rope" walking of finding the way to do exactly what you can, not less and not more, is a nearly impossible task.

Oh Gosh Abby you hit the nail on the head!! This is exactly the trap I feel so often and now in the past months more since I got worse in March. The reason I had that big flare was at least in part from trying to increase my activity. My strength improved because I was back on mestinon in a safer manner. So I tried to get back to the dentist for the many appointments I needed to get my teeth fixed. About 2 weeks into that and long long appointment at the univerisity on a Firday the flare hit and on Monday I tried to drive and my vision was messed up as it remains today. Double vision and all. That is the scary part for me. How can you even want to do more when the consiequesnces can be devastating?

I had been on steroids until 2-3 weeks prior to this for my cataract surgery. I think that may have been a factor in the flare as well.

Annie59