Kay

You will do well waiting. It should help make the process easier to wait.

Donna

My chili came out excellent. But my husband refused to taste test it and used the excuse that he was full even though there was a ton left in his bowl. It was obviously too hot for him again but he refused to admit it lol. I thought it was fairly mild. I'm going to have to start making it without any heat for him. I guess he's going to pick up some tostitos and finish it off lol.

I had requested some documents from the courthouse last month, they cashed my check Oct. 21st, but still no documents. So I called over there yesterday. The clerk said they were behind and I should give them about a week. No big deal. It looks like I won't need them for quite a while.

Donna, I hate waiting. I'm so impatient lol.
But I think I'm starting to resign myself to it. The light at the end of the tunnel has become very faint because of set backs and the more I find out about the bureaucratic process I'm going to have to go through. I figure I'll probably end up getting my license reinstated sometime in January at this rate (unless MA tries to hit me with another year).

I told my husband I'll have to get to and from the doctors' offices again. The plan is to drop both forms off in one day, and pick them up on another day when they're both ready. And this time, I'm going to the post office ONCE to mail the medical forms and consents out together.

The only time limit this time is the one I force upon myself. And I'm not going to pressure myself needlessly.

Once the intake people get the paperwork in, they'll file proof to the court and the NH DMV that I took the class, but it will take an unknown period of time until the NH DMV will send me the paperwork I need to get through the next long complicated step.

I think I'm finally surrendering to time and bureaucracy. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it and fixating on it has been very detrimental to me.

Still worried about the possibility of that substance abuse evaluation though. I'm sure I'll freak out if I have to go through that. And the thought of it is still causing a good deal of anxiety.
But since the intake lady is contacting the driving school directly for the class info, it should come back to her pretty quickly. So if I need that eval I should get a call back from her soon. The more time goes by, the safer I'll feel on that front.

That period of depression was definitely situational. I actually feel better off now than I did before mainly because I'm not going to let this license business rule me anymore- at least for the time being (it will get more stressful down the road). It's pretty amazing I'm pulling myself together since I have a lot going on.

Only 1mg Klonopin this am.

Way to go Kay.

Now enjoy your weekend please.

Donna

I am happy that you are feeling less stress with EVERYTHING that is going on
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi, Kay,

I had a friend who practiced CBT in her daily life.
And she freely made suggestions without being obnoxious.

One of her suggestions she gave one time to someone was something like this:
I never tried it exactly as she described.
I have tried somewhat to "drop" things to the
degree that I can



======
Regarding potentially freaking out:
Do it when the time comes. You do not have to "pre-emptively freak out.


Good luck with the waiting.
And I hope that the results roll in your favor.

M

I've decided to make things super-easy for myself:

I mailed letters to my pdoc and PCP explaining the form and what to do with it, and I enclosed self-addressed envelopes so they can mail them out directly to the organization. I also sent my consent forms back. I didn't even go to the post office- I left everything by the mailboxes at my apartment building for my postman to pick up today. This will take extra time, but I just don't care. I'm done on my end.

Mari, I'm not freaking out yet. I'm going to save that for when/if I hear word the eval will happen. I just know how I will react in that situation.

I have more pressing things on my mind.

I sent my cousin a sympathy card with the rest of the mail. It's so hard to pick the right one out. I opted for one that was very plain, so I could write my own message without Hallmark stepping in it. It's amazing how inappropriate some of them are.

I had a very low-key weekend. Yesterday's football game was AWESOME! It was a nail biter to the very end, but my team won. No beer cravings, but I did crave the non-alcoholic brew though lol. I don't know what to make of that, but I only had one.

On Friday and Saturday my husband actually asked me to make him an appointment for his back, but by Sunday he scratched the idea and was refusing intervention again. I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do, but he can't go on like this.

kay, I am proud of the way you are handling...everything.
Glad that your team won!
Have a good day.
bizi

About the missing jacket...

My dad said when he went to look in the basement all he could find where my stuff had been was my wedding dress. I had a LOT of stuff down there and some of it was expensive and/or sentimental. I can only hope someone just moved it. But I know some of it will be missing.

There are things I have wanted to go get, but haven't because that is where I made my s/s attempt and because that is where all the events (and people) directly leading up to it happened and I don't have the courage. But this kinda makes me want to go over there and see what else they've stolen from me.

To be kind, my father's wife's family is a drug-dealing white trash band of thieves. In addition to bp, my dad's mind is not quite right anymore (probably from years of heavy alcoholism), and he has no balls.

When I was lying on the floor bleeding, my father's wife's granddaughter was jumping up behind the cops to get a better look and was laughing. It wasn't just in my mind. One of the police officers told my father she did it... she almost got herself arrested that night. These are the type of people I am talking about...

I'm not going to get into it in any detail, but things really went to (expletive) for me when my dad went to FL last year and left his wife's granddaughter living with me (to "help me" lol). And she started dealing drugs out of the house, and I made the mistake of telling him. He said he didn't believe me even though she's not the only one in his wife's family who deals drugs. He handled it BADLY and all hell broke loose.

He's told me on multiple occasions he knew I was telling the truth about the drugs (you can't turn back time, dad), but was under pressure from his wife. Knowing all he does about her, the granddaughter lives in his house, he pays for her car, her school, and God knows what else and she works for him. He's told me all this. And he has the nerve to complain about her to me because she has violent outbursts. She's 20 BTW.

I'm 1/4 children who still speaks to my father. I'm the one with the best reasons not to. Several members of my family are very angry I still have contact with him after what happened. I think he harbors a lot of guilt over my s/s attempt. He should, but I've forgiven him. But I told him if we were talking on the phone and I heard his wife chime in once, I'd hang up and wouldn't talk to him anymore. He's respected that. Apparently he's stood up to her on that point because usually you can't get that (expletive) to shut her (expletive) mouth.

I didn't leave it well with my father. I let him know in no uncertain terms what I thought about those (expletive) (expletives) and where they could go. And I said I was too angry to talk anymore.

It is just a jacket. But then it's not. It's the point. It's what it represents.

Thank you for reading. I think I just needed a vent.
I feel better now.

so sorry kay
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Kay


Your father is definitely not helpful.
I am sorry that the situation stinks so much.


I would be disappointed about my jacket too.

M