Hi, and I am sorry you are hurting. Pain is pain, physical or mental. Yes it is hard to deal with. I am just another hurting soul, thinking of you. I already know there are alot of people here who are willing to listen. I am not in such good shape, but I know too that others hurt. I am reaching out to you hopes you know I care about you. Ginnie

You will have to reach out to get help. You can not be passive here.
this takes courage on your part.
I am hoping that you find the strength to go thru this...you need professional help to feel better.
I am sorry it is so hard right now.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I wish there was a way to have everything about what I feel is wrong with me sent to a bunch of doctors and have THEM tell me who's best to help me. there is nothing that makes me more depressed/upset/whatever im feeling than having to repeat myself 378583765 times and then have everyone either disregard what im saying or just not listen all together. I feel like I'm explaining everything to a wall. :[


I hope that your hurt decreases soon, you're a very caring individual I hope that I can help you just as you have helped me. stay strong :]


I've tried to reach out/get attention and now I have nothing left in me to try anymore. I can't keep telling 8753875 people what I think is wrong for them to tell me I'm crazy or to 'just relax' there is NOTHING that bothers me more than when someone I don't know (doctor/pdoc/tdoc) tells me everything is going to be Fine, how do they know!? I don't FEEL fine and so far nothing has been fine. ugh


I feel defeated...like I've pulled out all the stops and I just cant fight anymore

Oh meg, I know the roulette wheel too. You want to get of it so very much. I hear that cause it took me alot of doctors to get help. I am not a good patient and I make demands of my doctors. The truth is one of what my requests are. Some doctor is going to listen to you. I believe this. You can't stop looking for that help. It is out there, just not so easy to find. I went to a new neuro surgeon, after crying 4 days about it, fear.... He was wonderful and not only listened to me, but to two others I dragged with me for support. He gave me new hope, and so did this list I found, God's own direction. I am getting support here. No question about it, I feel it in the replies I get. Keep posting and asking, and reaching out. Ginnie

Here's an update: I miss orientation this morning for school because my passenger side window will not go up and its pouring out. I've been looking forward to this day for a while because it was supposed to help me feel like school is THAT much closer but I had to miss it because I cant afford to fix my window.

I really need to go see someone about all of eveything. Mr Edwards will be available to meet w/ me after I pay for school (tonight) and I'm calling him first thing tomorrow morning. I also just received an email about a lifeguarding job at a sports club near my school so I hope that works out for me. (swimming all winter long inside? Yes please)

Mike is out of my life F O R G O O D. No more about him.

I miss the serenity of Disney world. My heart longs for the happiness that DW brings

I have seen people use plastic and duct tape over windows....
is there a busd that you could figure out?
I know how much you enjoyed disney world...it is a fantasy land!
just fun filled.
I am glad that you made a decision about mike....
good luck with the swimming application!
bizi

I was just thinking( Oh OH) and maybe it would be good to go to a womans resourse center. Sometimes they have connections to physicians who others can attest to that they are good and listen. It took me lot of trys, but it was indeed through referal, that finally got me the proper doctors. I am not the most stable person, nor the sharpest knife in the drawyer,but I did find the help by being persistant, actually angry about my whole situation. All of it happened right at the time I had to have the help medically. I have surgery on monday fussion C3-7. I wanted to post again, to tell you not to give up even if you have told your story a billion times. I posted to broken wings, as she is the one who is really coaching me through my terrors and nerves. You are the other one I was thinking about. I don't want you to give up. I can't eithor, and my fears are real too. Be good to yourself, and I will try to catch up with youwhen my hospital stay is finished. I kept your thread in my e-mail. take care, ginnie

I hate when I come here to eplain so many things I have in my head, but then before I type them all I get so overwhelmed I don't want to think about the things that bother me anymore :[

IF I DO NOT FEEL SAFE I WILL NOT BE SILENT.

I do not care if it is a person, place, thing, sentence, word, sound, feeling- IF I DO NOT FEEL SAFE i am not going to act like things are okay.

how do I know if I have PTSD ?

Dear Meg

this sounds healthy to me. it is easy to get conditioned into hushing up for the sake of social norms... but it is not healthy to pretend things are ok when they are not or when they do not feel ok.

~ waves ~