Thank you. I'm so back and forth. I'm going to look at a rental here with my mom later. I may call my gramps again later. The issue is I know I feel worse in the cold. Even before the pn dx I was so sensitive. My feet froze and felt like no circulation and the ache and pain is worse. Maybe I would adjust or just stay in the house. Yet I'm so torn of moving by myself and feeling sick or in pain. Even when I was in bed most days I was able to do all my own care. My mom comforts me and makes me feel safe. She said I could just move for the cold months and then come back. My wish is she would just move too. I wouldn't want her to though cause she would be unhappy. I know she would though if it would fix me. If she moved there my gramps would buy her any house she wants. Will see I guess. Thank you.

Hi daniella,

I agree with Silverlady, your mom is so important in your life, it may be an extreme shock and therefore very stressful for you if you move away.

The temperature thing is really a problem, though. I agree.

For instance, my house has been around 70 degrees inside. Outside it's been in the 90s.

So it's surprising to me that if I'm in bed watching telly without my feet under the covers they begin to ache.

I think that somehow the PN affects how quickly our feet can adapt to temperature changes. That doesn't seem to follow, the way that I've written this, and I can't think how to better explain what I mean right now. (I'm just sooo tired... the dang stress!)

Last winter what I did was order these 60 degree below zero socks and I cut the tops off them so there wouldn't be any restricting elastic.

I also got some 20 below ones which were not very much help.

I don't keep my place very hot in the winter, I hope to keep it above 50 but don't always succeed.

I have a fleece jacket I can wear in the house on the cold days... when it's 9 degrees outside, then I have a hard time. And then if I get bone cold, I tend to have serious nerve repercussions.

One thing that's been really important for me is staying well enough to be able to get a bit of exercise.

When I exercise in the morning, it improves my metabolism all day long, and with my metabolism chugging along at a little higher rate, it keeps me warmer...



(so I wonder if that means I should exercise late in the day during the summer???????)

((((((((((daniella)))))))))))

(My mom was seldom any help to me, so I think you are very fortunate.)

I like your gramps.

(Think he would adopt me?)

Thanks your funny. He is one of a kind that is for sure. I will say money doesn't buy happiness or health. My mom did say she would come for a few weeks and I talked to my ex step dad who was thinking of moving near. I have always been sensitive to cold and hated MI weather before this pn. With this though I'm scared of it. Even like this morning and yesterday being cooler I noticed. Maybe I would adjust but to the 0 I don't know. It will be stressful and even trying to decide is. I feel either way will be wrong. I do know that staying in all winter will not be a good thing either. I know I'm a mommies girl and also under this pain issue makes things hard but even before this my gramps had offered for me to move down there. I didn't want to. Most people would jump at this. Even though he is emotionally hard on me. He has so many fun toys a big yacht,fancy cars,huge home. You go to this club and they have tea time. Its so weird for me as I'm used to though lucky living cheap cause before my pn I wanted to be on my own financially so I worked and went to school full time. I watched all my pennies. I felt good though about being self responsible. It still is a shock though going from an apartment and driving a focus to a mansion and a bentley if that makes sense? I just want to be fixed,healthy,and happy and go back to being on my own even if that means having to cut coupons. On a seperate note I got a call from u of m pain clinic that the anastesolgist referred me to from ohio. I have a meeting with them next month. I may move up the apt if I can though but was waiting to make more a choice on the treatment and now since its in both legs. Thanks again.

I'm glad I made you laugh a bit.

Bentleys are not that thick on the ground...

I can see that you've worked really hard for yourself. That's really a strong characteristic for you.

I think if he's a bit hard on you emotionally, that ... it would be a challenge.

I forget what state you said he was in.

Are you sort of keen for the vacation from scrimping?

I can see that would be really possible. And I could sure identify.

If you're going to stay with him, how about just going for the winter months?

(Before I ran so low on money I was thinking of going to Greece for the winter...)

Going there for a vacation would be a lot less stressful than a full fledged move.

Do you have a lot of things to put in storage for while you are gone? or could you sublet?

I think the high life might be fun for a bit.

But for me, I have to be really careful of stress... so the emotional thing could be tricky to deal with, if I were you.


Have you tried taking masses more Methylcobalamin and seeing if it helps?

I have cyanocobalamin shots, and have seldom been able to take 6 of the 5mg Methylcobalamin for more than a few days ... you'd think I'd love taking them because they are so fun-flavored. They are like my favorite candy... only of course they aren't candy....

I need to post some info from one of my web pages that could be useful... but I have to do a few of these stressful things here, first.

((((((((((daniella)))))))))

Thanks, I don't know if I would move near him. I just talked to him to see how I feel and I always cry after talking to him. Its a long story and in his own way he loves me but is so not caring. My mom is his princess and I'm the failure and will always be. He always used to say my mom is perfect and I'm not and have been screwing up my whole life. You do things his way or its wrong. He said its up to me about the move but also had to add his 2 cents about what I should be doing for pt. He always compares to him ok he is 84 and his issue is the muscle. I'm 29 and mine is nerves. Way different. Like I should be fixing myself or be better already.Through this he never called me in 6 months only calling my mom to see. I called a few times and sent cards and then finally we talked. He says to my mom he doesn't know what to say. He makes me feel so lonely and sad. This is such a sad day. I always feel so lonely like no one understands. My friends are too busy with there stuff,my step dad is gone,and my gramps is well I told you. Thats why my mom is so wonderful. I'm so sick of fighting pain,depression,eating disorders,loneliness,fear,I could go on.I feel fortunate but at the same time for being 29 I have been through a lot. SOme by my own doing but some not. I'm sorry for being so down. It will pass and I will try to be more hopeful. Thank you for all your guys caring. It really helps more then words can say. Your special people!

Oh my gosh... you are so right to be doubtful in that case.

When I'd only read that you always cry after talking to him, I wondered for a minute if he was a man I used to go with...

The guy had a lot of money, and I liked to travel with him... but he was a complete drain... (we broke up a couple of times, and I noticed I'd be much sadder when we got back together than I had been when we broke up.)



I sure agree that it is completely different. Nerves need a lot of rest, muscles love to be pushed.

push nerves and is just destroys any hope of moving around.



I'm so glad you know yourself so well. That helps to protect you from him and his opinions.


I'm pretty much entirely alone, so I can understand what you are saying.


Except you are so young. My goodness, even though I had a lot of stress at your age, I was still basically healthy most of the time, and able to have some enjoyment...


You may have already told me this, but do you take very much B12? And, what form are you taking it in?



After I lived in the hydrogen sulfide for a couple years (I didn't know about it, obviously) I bumped into stuff so often that my arms were always full of black and blue marks. And I was always breaking things because I'd misjudge distance.

It was after that, that I got the darning needle broken off in my toe, and didn't feel it.

But I am soooooo lucky, because although it gave me tetanus, which is pretty horrible, I was not only one of the lucky 40% who survive, I also started using some of the HUGE B12 prescription for injections that my holistic MD had given me...

After a shot or two a day for some months, the PN began to be much better...

So... maybe you would be lucky and a LOT of Methylcobalamin or B12 shots would help you a LOT.

((((((((((daniella)))))))))))

oh dear... I was just thinking, I didn't mean exactly that you should tell me how much you are taking.

It's none of my business.

What I meant was more like, that's something to think about...

((((((((daniella))))))))

Daniella:

You wrote:

"You do things his way or its wrong. He said its up to me about the move but also had to add his 2 cents about what I should be doing for pt. He always compares to him ok he is 84 and his issue is the muscle. I'm 29 and mine is nerves. Way different. Like I should be fixing myself or be better already.Through this he never called me in 6 months only calling my mom to see. I called a few times and sent cards and then finally we talked. He says to my mom he doesn't know what to say. He makes me feel so lonely and sad. This is such a sad day. I always feel so lonely like no one understands."
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Your grandfather reminds me a lot of my mother. I never felt so good as when both my parents moved to Florida when I was 24. This is how they told me they were moving. "Melody, we bought a house in Florida, if you want to come, come". Now I didn't need to be a brain surgeon to know that if I went, I would never be out from under her domination.

So I elected to stay, got my own apartment (I was 24, had a good job, even a boyfriend or two). And I visited them on holidays. Every single time I went and returned and my friend picked me up at the airport, she would see me crying and she would say "Oh Melody, why do you continue to go there and be abused"???

But in your case, it's a completely different story. I dont' care how rich this guy is. He comes with strings. (and I mean no disrespect, but I did go through this). These strings are called Emotional Blackmail.

STRESS STRESS STRESS.

And the fact that he calls your mom a princess and you a screw up, and the fact that no one fully understands your physical problems, well, you might move there, but honestly, what would you achieve. Warmer weather, and a living arrangement full of stress.

I would rather live in the North Pole with a bunch of heaters, sweatshirts, warm clothing, AND BE AT PEACE, then even have a conversation with my own son. That's what he did to me, and that is what I now know contributed to my health woes. Of course my son did not cause my diabetes. But his behavior contributed to my closing myself in my room at night and eating myself into oblivion. How nice that I no longer have to do that. I choose peace and caring. My husband and I do not go on trips, or out to dinner, or any place special.

But do we do out to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast a few days a week. We smile at our neighbors. They smile back. We stop and chat. We know everybody. My husband calls me the Mayor of Brooklyn. At each night, I go out and sit on neighbor's or friend's porches with my muffins, and I play with the babies or we just sit and chill.

But there is no stress.

If I knew then, what I know now, (and if I had applied that knowledge), I can only imagine how different my life would have been.

But we have to go through stuff and learn. And learn, and continue to learn.

So you do whatever you need to do to survive. But don't let anybody talk down to you, beat you up about it, etc.

You're a human being and you should be respected.

Next time Gramps hits your with something that you know is inappropriate, just quietly say "Grandpa, why on earth would you say such a hurtful thing to me???" See what he answers.

Melody

Considerthis I don't mind. I'm an open book and we can learn from others. ANyhow I don't take b12 anymore. I stopped with my dizzy issue and my b12 levels being so high. I know I know but just seeing what will happen. As for my gramps, I agree and why I worked so hard before this to be independent. Before that he had me doing what he wanted. That meant school,job,so on. Before I got pn to put myself through school I waited tables and he thought that was stupid. I said it makes me happy and he said your too smart for that job. I said he should just want me to be happy and if that makes me happy it should be fine. He said thats stupid. That I have been screwing up all my life. He specifically said if I don't do as he says for job so on that I'm out of the will. Thats fine I said if I'm healthy and happy I don't care. He really compares my mom and I her being perfect and me not. My mom never makes me feel that way though. She is my role model though. You know he is 84 and won't change. I love him and that is hard and when he was sick I even offered to come take care of him like full time. He can afford the best of care but I said its important to have family. You know I have been in the hospital many times in cardiac units so on and yes it was because of my ed and my fault but never a call or a card. I always send him little notes. Even now he can't give me credit for my recovery of anorexia he just brings up how I'm behind in school so on.My grandma was the best. Melody she reminds me of you so loving and caring. Also a talker. She passed away years ago. Always in my heart though. Anyhow I just went to look at a cute rental here so will see. I saw my mom too who made me homeade soup. Yeah and I'm feeling a little better. Thanks guys.