I know the feeling well, OTOH you have RSD, a condition that's not well understood, and there's a fight to be fought right there - a tough tough tough fight, and then OTOH there's WC, draining you of the last bit of energy that you've got.

I understand, and I know what it's like when the system practically throws you into the gutter to fend for yourself or actually to die, like they did with invalids and cripples in the Middle Ages. Things haven't improved much, have they?

The second paragraph, though, reading that... it really has me worried. I was hoping that it was just rational thought, you putting things in perspective, having a rant, and not true impulsive feelings of wanting to *really* commit suicide. But all this talk of just having to make it look like an accident has me panicking over here.

Please go talk to someone, please, because I think you've gone past thinking about this and are actually really planning this.

Don't forget that many of us are in the exact same boat you are in. We need more people to fight the system, people who won't give up no matter what. How else are we gonna make that difference for generations to come? We can't give up, and I do mean WE because a lot of us are fighting the system one way or the other!