Thank you all SO much for your kind words and support - I really appreciate it and it really helps me keep on going when i'm feeling down! I'm not sure what i'd do without you guys - it's so nice to have someone to talk to who can totally understand what I am going through!!

I'm really excited about starting college in September - I just hope that my RSD wont stop me from participating in any of the things I have to do in order to pass the course! I've been told that it's going to be really hard work but it's something I want to do so hopefully, it will be worth it!! It's SO hard trying to not let RSD win but it's ruled enough of my life and my doctor has basically told me that I will have this for life unfortunately so i'm going to have to try and get on with things, even if it's going to be hard.

The course seems to be really good. If you pass, at the end of it you will get a diploma in Society, Health and Development which is equivelent to 7 GCSEs (not sure if thats what they are called in the US but they are realy big awards that most employees look for when you go for a job interview). As well as the diploma, you also get other awards in safety, hygeine, food preperation, communication etc so it's a really good award to have!! At the end of the course, if I pass, i'll either have the oppertunity to go onto college and do the level 2 exam or get a job straight away. I think i'd probably go onto college if I could cope with it as you get a better job that way.

Mike - My mums currently looking into the online teaching option for me so that I could do my science and citizenship online. The problem is that it would cost a lot of money and my school is being really awkward saying that I have to go back to do all of the praticals etc so it's a no win situation!! I've spent many nights lately crying about going back to school because of how people are towards me. I was sat in the car the other day with my mum and 2 girls from my school shouted something rude about my ilness - they were supposed to be my friends but the minute I fell ill, they disappeared!! I just wish I could stay at the school centre as my friends are great there and dont judge me cos of my RSD! I think we will probably go down the online teaching bit for those 2 lessons as long as we can find somewhere that would be happy to take me on.

Thanks again everyone and i'll definitiely keep you posted as to how my first placement and how the course goes once I start it in September!

Ali the girls who are mean and shout to you have you approached them and told them how it hurts you? I am not saying to do this or not. At your age things are different then at mine but really I do feel in general that when people feel they can walk on you and be mean some will.I often feel judged too by people but am trying to just focus on that I am doing the best I can with the situation. I hope you see how well you are doing as well.
I know you are out of the US but do they work with finance options based on your families income etc in school? Hang in there and I am so excited for yu

Way to go Ali! It is so great and refreshing to see such determination. I hope that your story keeps me motivated to continue my classes as well. I re-start classes Aug. 24, I know I can make it, b/c I just finished my economics class last week, and the whole time I was "fighting" with my leg. It was hard, but when I found out that I not only got an A in the course, but I aced my final as well.... puts a little smirk on my face kinda like "see...i KNEW i could do it!" Hope all goes well for you, and as many of the others have said, those "friends" of yours at school who make the rude comments, they ain't your friends. Your true friends are always around and will never laugh at you...though they always laugh with you.

I am so proud of you for continuing to pursue your dream, Ali..don't give up!

Dew

Thanks guys for your kind words - I truly appreciate them! It's SO hard not to let RSD affect my life but my doctors basically told me that unless theres a cure sometime soon (which I hope and pray all the time for!), I will have this for life unfortunately so i've got to try and get on with things as much as possible. It is REALLY hard to hear those words but I do understand what he means. I don't think i'll ever fully accept that i'll probably have RSD forever but I know I can't do anything about it and that i've got to try and live my life somehow. I know that i'm going to have limitations with the college course but the tutors seem to be really nice and understanding so hopefully that should help! The only thing that kinda worries me is that they made it clear that we can't have time off for hospital appointments - not sure how that will work because of my RSD but guess it's something we will have to try and sort out! Most of the other kids on the course are really nice and friendly so that helps. I think it's easier as they all have an interest in health as that is why they are on the course.

I'm still stressing out about going back to school for the few lessons that I have to go back. It's such an hard decision to make as to whether to go back - if I don't go, I risk failing some lessons and if I do, I risk making my health worse. I wish my teachers would understand how upset and stressed i've been about going back but they don't. I was on Facebook the other day and one of my old 'friends' asked if she knew who I was! That REALLY hurt me! Me and her used to be really close, spent lunch together, had most lessons together and the same friends etc and now she doesn't even remembe me!! I guess i've learnt who my true friends are now that I have RSD and I don't think any of the kids at my old mainstream school were ever my true friends. The kids at the school centre are great and have been in touch with me all the time they knew I haven't been well but the kids from my other school, haven't been in touch. I think they just used me for what they could get as I used to take them to the movies, we went to see the Pussycat Dolls for my 11th Birthday etc. I try and ignore them the best I can but it's still really hard at times.

My mums still looking into the online teaching. They do Science classes online but they cost about $250 which is quite a lot of money. I'd have to do my Citizenship class online also as I need that for the course. Were off school until the beginning of September now but my mums going to email them and tell them how stressed I have been and see if they can do anything to help.

It's under a month now til I start college which is kinda scary but exciting at the same time! I know it's going to be a lot of hard work but hopefully it will be worth it !

Thanks again everyone for your support and i'll keep you posted when I can!

Hi. I am hoping for you,myself and others that the rsd may be part of our lives but to a functioning level where there are much better days or even remission. We have to hold to hope though it is hard. I am in a flare so I am trying to self talk this. Even people without health condition starting school creates anxiety and fears. So with what you face with the rsd and the change with school it really is a bag of mixed emotions and stress. Hopefully your doctors will be able to work with you on apts. That is really tuff of the school cause even common things happen to people and they need to miss. I'm glad that the kids seem nice. I am hoping you will meet someone close people cause that will be a lifter in itself. Really I have no explanation for people as like I told you I have experienced the same with friends or so called ones. Try to take 1 day at a time. You can only do so much and to me you are doing amazing

Hi Ali,
The "friendships" at the mainstream school where the kids 'claimed' to be your friends, will be replaced by deeper, more meaningful friendships with the kids that are in the same program as you, pursuing health education..I m sure things will work out with your doctor visits as the need arises..
You are bringing to you classes and placements a big heart and so much empathy and understanding for the people you will be helping!!
you are an inspiration and a blessing and we are here to always listen to how you are faring

It *is* hard to accept and to see people react to you differently than they used to, I think we all can relate. All the ones that will no longer give you the time of day, well: good riddance. It hurts, yes, but you'll have to do without them and you know what, you can do without them. They'll only give you a hard time for not being able to keep up or do what they do. It's not there that you'll get your support, that's for sure. Stick with the people that stand by you no matter what, who aren't ashamed to be seen with you, who think you're just as good a person as someone without a disability. You deserve people like that, people who make you feel part of something rather than make you feel excluded.

It's going to be different than high school, I can tell you that much. It's like all the bad apples have been weeded out and it's a much more grown up atmosphere... well, it was in my case.

I hope college will be a great experience for you.

I agree with Marleen, and the new, adult atmosphere of education that you are about to experience starting in September.




One day at a time: staying rested, taking meds on time, going to bed at a descent hour...having fun with your new friends, enjoying the knowledge that will open your eyes to new thoughts, and increasing your critical thinking skills. All very exciting.

Thanks everyone for your help and support! I'm trying to forget about my old 'friends' as I know they aren't true friends seeing as they haven't been with me through the rough as well as the bad times though it is hard. I now know that I don't need them to cause more stress in my life ... I have enough already with the RSD and everything else. Like the quote say "The only people you need in your lives are the ones that prove you are needed in theirs" - guess I need to start realising that more!!

My mum and I had a lengthly discussion today about what I will be doing from September etc and we have both decided that it would be better for me if I could do Science and Citizenship at home. My mum is going to enroll me into a science and citizenship ship course tomorrow. It will cost about £400 which is a LOT of money but hopefully, it will be worth it. The course is all online and they will send paper work and asignments out for me to do as I go along. I'll still get the full qualification that I would in school - it should just be easier and will free up more time for hospital appointments etc.

We go back to school on the 9th September so my mums going to write a letter to my school telling them what we are going to do. Hopefully they will be understanding. They haven't supported me through any of this so I think we don't have any other choice. At least at the school centre, the teachers and other kids are understanding about my ilness and don't judge me.

Lifes going to be crazy from September but hopefully, with the help of my tutors and doctor, we will be able to come up with a plan that will work and i'll be able to get through all of the course ! My first placement will be in November and will last 10 days. I'll be working in a nursing home with old people so i'm looking forward to that as it should be interesting!

Tomorrow would have been my grandads Birthday so I think it's going to be a pretty tough day. He passed away last November after an heart attack and I miss him a LOT! They say it gets easier within time but I don't think it does ... I still spend many days crying about not being able to see him and say our final goodbye etc. My nanan and I are going away next week to a caravan that we have - we were going to go this week but it would have been too stressful for us probably. It's SO hard knowing that i'll not be able to see my grandad this year on his Birthday.

Thanks again and i'll let you all know how I get on when I start in a few weeks time!