[RSD ME]

Hi. My name is Renee and I'm usually on the RSD site, but saw this site and started to cry. I had a sheltie for 10 years and two years ago I had to put him to rest because he had lupus and the vet said his heart was giving out. I didn't want him to suffer, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. He was my first dog and truly was my best friend too. I walked with him almost everyday, and never felt alone as long as he was in my life. I have a wonderful family, but there's something different about the love shared with a dog. I got rsd (really sick) shortly after he died and shortly after my only child left for college. I don't see my husband too much because he works alot to help pay for all of my extra medical bills. I have some rescue animal now, but the special bond I had with my sheltie can never be found with any other living creature. I still cry almost every day for him. He was my furry baby who I knew since he was 4 days old. He gave me courage and strength when times got tough. He gave me unconditional love and constant joy. He taught me to enjoy the simple things in life like flowers and birds and to live each day to the fullest. He tought me to live for the moment. But most importantly he tought me to love and be loved unconditionally. I hope I get to see him again someday in heaven and that he's there now healthy and happy. I feel so lost without him. It hurts so much and I cry every day because I miss him so much, like I'm crying right now. It never seems to get easier and everything reminds me of him. I don't mean to be a downer, I just needed to talk about my best friend in the whole wide world. Thanks for listening. PS - Attached is a picture of my new rescue dog. She is part hound, part chow, part retriever and part shibu-unu. She is a sweetheart and has helped me to deal with loosing my other dog. I actually got her a few weeks after I lost my other dog. The house was too quiet without my dog and my cat needed a new friend too. And it turns out, my calico cat and my hound dog are the best of friends. She's was about a year old when we adopted her and she is the sweetest dog ever. She is like a big puppy and have helped me be able to move on. She can never replace my other dog, but she is special in her own way. She is my new furry baby and makes me smile!
PSS - I just wanted to edit this to correct myself on one thing. I said that the love shared with a dog is special and is different than the love shared with humans. I meant to say that the love shared with any furry friend, (a dog, cat, etc.) is special and is different than the love shared with humans. I just needed to clarify that because I have dogs and cat and love them all very much. They are all special in their own ways, just like people are. Thanks again for listening and for all of your kind words and thoughts.

[Sparky10]

Thank you for posting here, Renee! It can help you feel better to get your feelings out to people who haven't seen your sadness before.
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Losing someone close to you of any species can be like a mutilation of your soul. You've lost a part of yourself, for sure.

My first cat was the most purrfect pet. Bearcat and I moved a lot, including cross-country. He disappeared for two weeks one time and I left the screen off the bedroom window for him. He came in one night like nothing had happened. I was so relieved!

[ginnie]

I hear your tears Renee. I too grieve for a lost pet. It has been two years, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him. They say it gets easier with time, but in many ways so far it doesn't. I cry too Renee. I pray in heaven we get to meet up again with our friends. Sometimes pets are kinder than people.
Glad you have a new pet. It doesn't take the place of what you had, but they can and do give joy in a whole new way. I adopted a 3 day old kitten, Hercules, who was dumped at a shelter. What a handful! May your heart ache be replaced with new found happiness. ginnie
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[Dr. Smith]

Originally Posted by RSD RENEE
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Hi. My name is Renee and I'm usually on the RSD site, but saw this site and started to cry. I had a sheltie for 10 years and two years ago I had to put him to rest ....

....I still cry almost every day for him.

Hi Renee,

I understand what you're saying; I've had dogs all my life. The first can be like a first love—the one you never forget. And I've had a very special one (my previous) that stood out from the rest in one way or another.

What concerns me is that after two years you're still crying almost every day, and that just seeing this forum caused you to cry. IME this isn't par, and IMO it's not healthy to grieve to this extent for so long.

Would you consider speaking to your doctor or a grief counselor about it?

Doc

[RSD ME]

Hi again, I will look into a dr or grief counselor who can maybe help me with my sadness. I just miss him so much. He was my little shadow and went everywhere I did. Even to DD to get munchkins on Sundays. He loved munchkins! I find it alot harder to deal with life without him. I always felt that as long as he was with me, I could handle anything. It's alot harder for me to do that now without him. I will check into seeing someone though. Thanks for your concern and advice. I hope you have a great day.

[ginnie]

There are no limits or time frame for grief. I know people say you should be over it by now. It isn't that easy. If a bond is strong, it is like having a child, you never really get over it. You just learn to live with it.
I had a motor cycle riding, boat riding, train riding, airliner riding, bus riding, traveling cat. He was leashed trained, and loved the rest stops where the dogs were when I traveled. He was with me 21 years. Longer than my own kids!
There are days I still tear up missing him after two years. He was such an incredible animal, and trained just about like a dog. He even went down to the ocean and took a taste, that face he made of awful, I have on camera.
I hope indeed that there is a heaven. He will be there waiting for me.
It is OK to miss him Renee. Just writing this I teared up, so I know how you are feeling. Remember the good, make a collage of his photos and put it over your dresser. I have Scruffys' tags, toys, harness, and whiskers in his collage. It is the first thing I see when I wake up.
I adopted a 3 day old kitten. Never can replace, but the joy of this animal does help. The bottle feedings, bonded us, and he is on my lap now. He had a feral background and wasn't expected to live. I help out at an animal rescue agency. I had waiting the two years, for just such a chance.
I am here to listen to you any time about your pet. xxxginnie
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[RSD ME]

Thanks Ginnie. I do feel like I lost a child and that I will always miss him and be sad he's gone. Even though I have to live without him now, I can never forget him. He was a huge part of my life and I still feel him near me. He made me feel that I was okay as a person even though I wasn't perfect. He didn't critisize my imperfections or judge me. He just loved me and I loved him back. When the time came when I had to put him down, the vet asked me if I would like to leave before they did it. I said that my dog would have stayed with me until the end and that I would do the same for him. I stayed with him holding his head in my hands and stroking him and telling him how much I loved him as they sedated him and then euthenized him. Then his little head gently slipped out of my hands onto the vet table and his eyes, though still opened, were lifeless. At that moment I knew he was gone. The vet checked his his heart to confirm that he was gone. He went peacefully and quickly because his heart was so weak. I cried and hugged him and felt like I would be sick. I lost ten pounds in two weeks after that because I couldn't eat. I had him cremated and his ashes are next to me on my nightstand along with his leash and collar and tags and harness and his favorite balls and stuffed toys. His pictures are all over and I have some of his fur as a keepsake. It's really hard to be without him and I will never stop missing him, but hope we will be together again some day with all of our loved ones in a better place. Until then I take care of my other furry babies who need me. I think it's great that you rescued animals too. Your kitten sounds so cute. I'd love to see pictures if that's okay with you. If I can figure out how to put more pictures up, I will try to put my sheltie picture up too. His name was Coby and he was beautiful inside and out. Thanks again for your kind and understanding words. I'm here too if you ever need a friend.

[ginnie]

I am glad you got to be with him when his spirit went home. I could not do that for scruffy. Gail, the woman who I have worked with for 15 years is one of my closest friends. She runs an animal rescue place. Scruffy and I went up to see her all the time, almost daily, so she got close to Scruffy too. she said she couldn't do it with me there as it would upset both of us too much. I placed him in her arms. She did this as a favor, as scruffy was her friend too. I was sick the same way for months. I don't know how many months I moaned, I don't remember. I do know I lost weight too, and could not eat. I felt as lost as you do. Keep close to your other furry friends. If I ever get good enough to send you a picture of my Hercules I will. I have a samsung with pictures of Hercules in my hands. His little ears were the size of my little fingernail. He was preemie and sick. What a cool experience it has been to see him grow up. He is now 5 months old and the time went so fast. He was awful to bottle feed. So anxious, I finally figured out what a mama cat feels being clawed by half a dozen little ones. ginnie

[RSD ME]

I'm sorry had to put your dog down too. And you were with him too when his spirit went home even if you didn't stay with him when he was put down. I always told my Coby that even though we might be apart someday, we would always be together in each others hearts. And you were in Scruffys heart when he passed. You don't have to be physically present to be in each others hearts. That's what makes love so special. He knew you loved him and that your love was there for him was there until the end. It's a very hard thing to be there when one's pet is put to sleep. There is no right or wrong answer. It's a personal decision and whatever one decides, the important thing is that the animal is not suffering anymore when there is no more that can be done to save them. I'm sorry you lost him, but you ended his suffering and I'm sure he knew that you did it because you loved him so much.
On a brighter note, I would love to see a picture of Hercules. He sounds adorable. I was in a lot of pain last night and my torte Snickers and I watched Christmas shows on the Hallmark channel half the night. I love cats too. There different than dogs, but just as loveable. I'm glad Hercules has such a good momma to take care of him. Give him a big cat hug from me. Thanks again for your kindness and I hope you have a good day.