[QUOTE=AussieDebbie;. So I act braver than I am. I collapse in pain when alone. It sounds as though you do too. I get how lonely that is.

I do the same thing. I babysit my granddaughters and tell my daughter I'm fine but I'm not. I just don't want to say no. I also collapse for a few days when I go home.

This disease can sometimes feel so lonely but I agree it helps to come here. Sometimes it's all I need to brighten my day. Some understanding!

No good sleep in years? Thaydrien I know that you are expressing a great loss. We all have to cope with what we used to do. I am sorry about your music as I am jealous of anyone who can play. Tell us the nature of your PN. Mine came on after a head-on collision. You can barely walk but don"t sit down and give in to the pain!!! I take Hydrocodone 10-325 every six hrs w/ a max of 2/per day. 900 mlg Gabapentine/day that doesn"t help. It sounds like your pain is bad enough to cause depression. I take Ambien at night to get to sleep as the pain is on the rise as the other pain pills are wearing off. There are brave souls here that can help you through. Talk to us and get your pain down!!!! Remember that the prophet Paul could at times only survive by being in a constant state of prayer. You get tired of prayer, count your blessings, as small as they seem. Strength to you, Ken in Texas.

Dear Thaydrian,

I am sorry for you and can relate to how you feel.
I have only had my situation for a few months but am also worried about wearing out the patience and kindness of my husband and sister.

My sister suggested today that my husband is feeling lonely due to my changed health and that even just being with him while he does something is better than nothing. Maybe when your wife calls you you can agree that she asks you a different question like 'What have you done today' or even just "Is there anything we need from the store'?

Sorry if this sounds very basic, but I hope it helps.

Joanne

I feel your pain. I'm reaching one of those stages too. I've been there before. It'll pass. But you may need some help getting there. Ask about Cymbalta. It's a double duty anti-depressant in that it will help with the depression and any anxiety and also with some of the pain. At least for many people it helps with at least a certain amount of the pain.

That hole you're in is awful. I understand. It's worse when I look further ahead than right now, this minute. I take it one day at time, some times one hour or one minute at a time. And I don't care any longer what anyone else thinks. I *know* what I have. I *know* many people don't "get it". But that's their problem, not mine. Or yours.

I'm becoming so frustrated with the pain relief issues. As far as I know, what I have is never going to go away or get better, only worse. I honestly can't care about dependence issues. Dependence is different than addiction. But I do care about having *some* quality of life.

Ask your doc about a pain specialist. If you're not already seeing one. That might make the difference for you and the kinds of meds you might need.

Know that you're not alone. Sending vibes of love and light to you. *gentle hug*

Thinking of you and your pain.